Well, this detaching stuff seems to be working at least somewhat. It may not let me keep my wife, but I've actually been able have a number of good days. I've got things to look forward to doing and I'm still breathing.
Each day seems to get better. I've now got plans. One on how to continue to GAL and what that means without the W. And a contingency plan on how to move forward on my own if I have to do so without W (e.g., house, money, cars, etc).
It scared me at first to see how I could find things to look forward to without the wife. Now I realize that even if I still love her, she isn't perfect and there are things I gave up or compromised to be married to her that I get back if I'm on my own. Nothing major, but enough to look forward to being alone.
This morning when she hugged me as I left, I squeezed just a little more than I've been doing. The funny part was it wasn't to show her more love, it was simply because this morning was the best I've felt in a while. I think I may have moved from just going through the motions, to acceptance and a look forward. I'm sure that there will be many bad days ahead, but I do know I'll make it.
