I just received this from my friend and it made sense to me so I thought I would share. This was related to the fact that my W can very critical and even mean at times when I do simple little things or get a little emotional over any issue.
Even though we don't see it, and they would never admit it to us, they know, and all this stuff they are doing is there way of coping with it, they have to justify there behavious some way, I think its because they have scared the crap out of themselves, because they have done something they never thought they would. And because they feel so out of charater they then begin to try and make sense of it, and the only way they can do that is to blame us, our short comings are what led them to do this. We didn't have affairs, so that must mean they are ok, but we drove them to the affair. So this is how they get by, and how they can cope...eventually this will run its course, and they will see(hopefully)what there actions did
