I don't understand her saying that you have "turned off the love." It's like she trying to blame you in her mind or tell herself that she CAN'T come back b/c you don't love her anymore. What a bunch of crap!
Maybe you need to sit her down and have a chat? At least that way, you know that she knows that you still want her and you can't ever regret anything like "oh, I should have said . . . "
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
She called this morning because we are supposed to take Xmas stuff to her place and sort through it.
She had a rough night with the girls (big surprise) and was concerned that I was sleeping in.. "What time did you get home?"
She sounded like she was getting sick and I mentioned it.. she says: "Yeah.. I'm just exhausted.. not getting much sleep.. lot going on and through my head and not a lot of time to think or react to it. I'm lonely"
That threw me... I said.. "You're lonely?" She said "Yeah.."
I honestly didn't know what to say to that.. what do you say to that? I guess that's a little bit of a good sign. I also know that it's the holidays and she's a depressed individual.
I'll see how the day goes.. maybe a spot will open for that conversation.
Hey Jar... I dont know how you kept your cool after seeing the pic of the kids and the roses. Man, that would sting the hell out of me.
Again, she doesnt seem happy Jar. She obviously is torn, its evident when she tries to kiss and hug you. I think that if you can keep playing it cool, in due time, she might come around. In addition, she is still in the throes of the honeymoon period with OM. That phase is only temporary. Remain constant.
H4C
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
So.. interesting day. We were flirty.. she asked about why I told her no. I told her it was awkward with her BF on the phone with my 5 year old while she was asking for a kiss.
I think the day went OK.
She did show me her new belly button piercing. She's tried several times, but she has keyloid issues. I told her it was hot.. again.. we were being flirty.
I did get a little upset with her.. she kept texting OM while we were around. I told her she was being rude.. she can wait till I leave.. show me a little respect. Maybe that was wrong, but come on.
I think I pushed a little.. she was playful and everything, but then she went into depressed mode.. not sure if it was the realization that all this is happening or what. She kept saying she was fat.. she really got hung up on that. She has serious issues with that.
When I left, I pushed it.. I said "What.. I don't get the same offer as yesterday?" She said "You blew me off yesterday." I said "I told you why"
Then we said goodbye.. I would've kissed her this time.. put some thought into it. I wanted a temp check.
Oh well.. no harm no foul. She's definitely twisted right now. Her mom stopped by and W was complaining about how her place didn't feel homey.
Well.. hopefully things will run their course. I can find a balance and keep it. No big deal. I sittin right about down the middle. If things happen with us.. great.. if not.. I can do better. I realize that now.
Oh yeah.. used the restroom in her room and saw that OM has a toothbrush there.
Yuck. Guess he needs to brush his teethe there too.
Hey Jar.. keep it up. I know its so hard, but I keep getting a feeling that one day she's going to wake up.
I was hoping you could provide some insight on my sitch. My D told me that W bf stayed the night last night and that "mommy's bed kept hitting the wall all night." Jar, Im so hurt man. How did you handle it when you knew your wife started being physical with OM? The thoughts in my head are torture, I cant stop them.
On a positive note... I found out OM doesnt even live here, he's from Vegas. A month ago W and I were dating, why would she throw me away for something thats not very likely to go anywhere? Is she simply paying me back for when she wanted me back and I had a gf at the time? My mom said she would call crying all the time about me and OW. Im so hurt bro. Can you help?
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
jar, you have done well. Stay clear of her, she is a ticking time bomb. You don't want her to reel you in (believe me I speak from experience, now I just keep myself out of those situations). The flirting is so fun, but then I picture H's cell phone, or OW, and I'm good.
So sorry about the texting and OM talking to your kids, and the picture on the aquarium, yuck to all of it.
During the throws of the summer love at our house, H used to stay out until 6am or so. He would fall asleep on the couch and then I would leave for work at 7:15am, worked til 5pm or so. Yep, H would have the girls all day long on 1 hour sleep. I would be soooo ticked when he would call and complain how cranky THEY were. Oh yeah...them. I am sure it was them.
Oops, sorry, went off on a bitter ride.......
I agree with you (or someone on here) saying that its going to be a tough stretch over this holiday weekend. Maybe its a 'practice' run for Christmas. Blecky.
PS: Thought of you tonight as I sat through not ONE but both High School Musicals.
So some updates... W called later that night to tell me her washer was not working right. I got the impression she wanted me to come over. I was watching a movie at my friends. I told her I'd stop by in the morning to check it out.
She texted me a little while later and asked if I would've taken a kiss.. I told her I would've.
So.. I swung by her place to check on her washer.. it was fine. Spent time with the D's. W kept looking at me.. not sure why..
She was going with OM and his kids to the "Festival of Lights" which is a thing they do at the zoo here. I've decided to take the high road.. I try not to let those things bother me. I think it also gives the "I've accepted your choice and I'm moving on"
Who knows.
So.. hung out with some friends last night.. my sis-in-law had a little B-day get together. Their B-day is on Thanksgiving!! That would stink!
Went to another bar.. at 12:30 we finally got the manager and staff to kick this woman out who was there with her 10 year old (guess)daughter. It was sick.. the little girl kept getting in front of mom and you could tell she wanted to go home. She didn't even have a coat on... and it's 30 outside. The bar had cut her off, but couldn't kick her out. So.. some of us decided to "talk" to her and young idiots buying her drinks.
We helped the young guys out That was funny.. the one guy was wanting to fight the little bar tender dude.. then he turned around and saw the 3 of us.
Cop drove by right at that time.. the lady couldn't believe she did anything wrong!! Turns out.. they had walked to the bar. Again.. 30 and she didn't have a coat on!! Cops gave her a ride home.
I hope they both learned something.
I was FURIOUS!! We talked to the manager about checking into a 21 after 10 rule. Who knows what he'll do.
Hope you all have had a good weekend.. I'll read up on everyone!!
