New and Improving

[lizzy]

I am waiting to see how much we see or hear from H today. (I'm worried that my asking about what he said to his mom will set us back some.) H is off work and the girls and I are off of school. I should probably take them somewhere today for the sake of GAL. I'm sure the movies will be swamped and I don't feel like fighting the crowds at the malls. I guess we could do a museum.

Same here - Not really sure what to expect from W today. We're doing dinner, but whos if she'll call during the day or whatever...

D and I are going shopping this afternoon, just for fun. Sure, it'll be totally insane, but it's not like I'm rushing or something

It is snowing a little here and the ground is dusted white. In the past I would put up Christmas decs. today. Last year was a pretty bad Christmas and I put off decorating. I won't be doing it today, but I know it is important to do them for me and the girls. I don't know if I should do it all w/out H or try to include him. Usually he wasn't really around when we decorated. Any input?

I'd just start doing it, and if he's around when it's happen then great, otherwise he misses out. I'm sure the D's would love to start putting up decorations and stuff. I wouldn't go out of your way to include H if he didn't do it with you in the past.

Hope you guys have fun today!!

Thanks for your input Brit. Just printed out tickets for the Art Museum. I'm really excited about going as we haven't been there in a few years. I'm sure seeing some Monets will brighten the day. You might want to take your D to the Botanical Gardens over the holidays. They really dec it out for the holidays and have gingerbread houses on display. Nice place for pictures.

[Pudmuddle]

Hey Lizzy,

Just catching up on your thread. Sounds to me like you did just fine over TG and don't worry about the ILs for now and what they are saying...they don't realize the WHOLE story, so they only comment on what they see.

My S and I went to my SILs house(H's bro) and spent a nice time with them there...H was out telling OW goodbye and no more. So even though it was awkward for me at first, because my S kept asking where Dad was, I knew he was coming back to me. Then when H got to their house, he and I kissed and hugged and then snuggled on the twoseater chair. So I'm sure they were just as confused as we haven't told them of recent developments yet.

I agree with Brit about putting up the decorations, just do it and have a blast with your Ds. (Oh and HI BRIT! )

Hard as things are right now, lizzy, sounds to me like you are doing well and GAL'ing nicely. I'm thinkin' of ya.

[lizzy]

Hey Lizzy,

Just catching up on your thread. Sounds to me like you did just fine over TG and don't worry about the ILs for now and what they are saying...they don't realize the WHOLE story, so they only comment on what they see.

My S and I went to my SILs house(H's bro) and spent a nice time with them there...H was out telling OW goodbye and no more. So even though it was awkward for me at first, because my S kept asking where Dad was, I knew he was coming back to me. Then when H got to their house, he and I kissed and hugged and then snuggled on the twoseater chair. So I'm sure they were just as confused as we haven't told them of recent developments yet.

I agree with Brit about putting up the decorations, just do it and have a blast with your Ds. (Oh and HI BRIT! )

Hard as things are right now, lizzy, sounds to me like you are doing well and GAL'ing nicely. I'm thinkin' of ya.

Thanks PM. I'm glad you got to spend the holiday w/ your H. I'm sure my ILs were confused yesterday when I didn't show up.

[lizzy]

H called a few times in the morning while I was on the computer (dial up still ). Didn't leave any messages, just hung up. Called my cell which was upstairs and woke up D15, told her to go back to bed he would call later. Called later while I couldn't get to cell and told D10 he was going to be disposing of radioactive waste. So I decided he must be working today. That was 1/2 hour before we planned to leave for the musuem. He called as we were getting ready to go and seemed a little upset that we were. I said I was sorry but he said last night that he didn't think he would see the girls today. H said he told them he hoped to see them today. Asked if he wanted to go and he said no and hung up. D10 wanted him to go so I called back and expressed that. H said to go w/out him he would go shopping w/ male friend. I also express that I was sorry for the misunderstanding and I didn't like feeling like I was being a B. H said I didn't need to feel that way. (After I got off the phone I asked Ds what he said last night and it was what I thought.) H had made some comment on the phone to D10 on the phone about it really not being a nice day for the zoo. Don't know if he thought they planned to go or what. She didn't know what he was talking about.

Glad we went to the museum. Ds and I had a good time. We bought two prints to hang in the dining room. D10 picked on by my favorite artist. When H saw it later he said it was his favorite artist too. He also liked the one D15 picked.

H showed up around 2:00. Spent time with D10 going over purchases. After that he went in the living room to read the paper. Then he sat on the couch with her and napped while she watched TV. They cuddled the whole time which was great. I think they are really repairing their relationship. I asked who wanted me to go a local butcher shop to pick up one of our favorites for dinner. D15 raised her hand and H raised D10s. So D10 and I ran to the butcher. I made a yummy homecooked comfort meal. I announced when it was ready and Ds came into the kitchen. I served up our plates the went into the dining room. H was on the computer and I asked if he was eating. H said yes and thanked me. It still kills me that I have to invite him to eat, but he is thankful that I do. H ended up staying until after 6.

Positives for today:
1. H stayed around for four hours while I was here.
2. H asked about coming by in the morning. Said I didn't need to go somewhere else while he is here.
3. Noticed for the second day in a row H pulled his car into the driveway. He has been parking in the street since the S.

Positives for today:
1. H stayed around for four hours while I was here.
2. H asked about coming by in the morning. Said I didn't need to go somewhere else while he is here.
3. Noticed for the second day in a row H pulled his car into the driveway. He has been parking in the street since the S.

That's fantastic!! Is he still living at the office? It's great that he is spending time with your D's and he's beginning to mend those fences.

You should ask him if his cake is tasty!!

[lizzy]

Positives for today:
1. H stayed around for four hours while I was here.
2. H asked about coming by in the morning. Said I didn't need to go somewhere else while he is here.
3. Noticed for the second day in a row H pulled his car into the driveway. He has been parking in the street since the S.

That's fantastic!! Is he still living at the office? It's great that he is spending time with your D's and he's beginning to mend those fences.

You should ask him if his cake is tasty!!

As far as I know he is staying at the office. He hasn't said and I haven't asked. He did make a comment lastnight about GOING to take care of radioactive waste in the morning, which could mean he might not be staying there. I'm not asking though, as I think he would resent that. I am trying really hard not to ask what he does when not here. I'm dying to know who he is taking to the football game tomorrow. H has taken the one EA in the past. I'm sure he won't tell me if he does.

D10 and I made a pie lastnight because the one grandma had on TG was frozen. She wanted to make one with me. I guess when H comes I could offer him some and ask if it tastes as good as his cake.

[lizzy]

Yesterday was a pretty good day. H came to the house about 11. I thought I would go to Walmart to pick up some things and give him so alone time w/ Ds. D10 wanted to go w/ me and said H would be on the computer the whole time. I pulled out a fun game and suggested they play. I guess they had fun as when I got home they showed me pics they drew for the game.

Made lunch which we all ate together. H ran to work for a little bit to do a favor for me. Came back and took a nap upstairs. Went to church together. D15 went to a party and D10 and I went to pick up a friend for the Nutcracker. Got a later start than we planned and had a half hour drive. Realized the directions I had were not the way I wanted to go. Called and asked H to look them up on the net. H texted them to me. I didn't follow them because that was different from the way I normally go. Had to call H to let him know I screwed up and needed help. (UGH!!! I so hated doing that!) Made it to theater in time, H helped talk me through getting there, sent H a text to which he responded w/ humor. Leave theater at 9 can't find the freaking highway going the direction I need. End up in a neighborhood I did not want to be in. Turn around heading back in correct direction but still can't find the highway. (BY the way, if you aren't laughing at me by now, feel free too!) H responds to a message I left on his phone letting him know he may never see us again. Tells me just to get on a different highway. Try to explain the city we are in has the worst signage around and there are none that show how to get to either route. End up finding the highway I wanted. H calls and I let D answer because I am POed that he wasn't more helpful and made me feel like an idiot. All the way home I'm thinking about the text I'm going to send giving me a piece of my mind. PM is sitting on my shoulder telling me to give it 48 hours. H calls as I'm getting off of the highway. I apologize for interupting his fun evening w/ friend. H says I didn't and I express that I felt I was. We discussed the sitch and all is ok. Glad I didn't send the text. PM is so freaking wise! In between the stress I had a great time w/ D at ballet.

Lessons learned:
1. Take time to cool off before texting H.
2. Continue working on being more independent.
3. I really need a freaking GPS! LOL

[lizzy]

Bit of a boring day here. H stopped by for about an hour in the morning to get ready for football game. D10 and I did some errands after he left. Spent the rest of the day doing a little housework and laundry. The girls and I got out our Nutcracker collection. I decided I will just put out a few decorations at a time. H got home from the game in time for dinner. We had our standard Sunday night pizza.

H stuck around for a few hours but spent most of the time checking his fantasy football teams on the computer. I got POed about that and left the house to gas up the car. I was still hot when I got back so I went in the other room to read some DR. Good thing I did, because it calmed me down. Also reminded me to make the interations positive. At that point I got up and went in the room with Ds and H. Started talking with them and played some games with D10.

I really need to take more time to read DR.

[lizzy]

Confusion is really starting to set in for me now. I was really hopeful because of all of the time H spent at the house the past several days. I talked to one friend today who is separated from her H. She wants out, but she thought my sitch sounded really hopeful. I then talked to another friend who is a WAW and has filed papers. She seemed to burst my bubble and pull me down to earth. She thinks H was just around more because his EAs were probably tied up with family over the holiday weekend. UGH! I know I need to be positive and just take things slow and one day at a time. Sometimes that is just so hard though.

[bhopeful]

I know what you mean about confusion. My W asked me over to her place only to push me out a half hour later telling me that she needed her space. WTF? Anyways, there is a reason why everyone compares what we are going through to a roller coaster. Sometimes the high spots and the low spots are really close together. Patience is key.