Well, we had a good Thanksgiving. I am exhausted, though and am looking foward to a little r and r tomorrow.
We went to my parents and my cousins', sister, their families were there. New Guy showed up later with his D for dessert. It was really cozy.
Kids were with XH today until 5. D told me that the Rat HATES Club Med and her kid is crying to come home.
WTF? Do you know anyone that would hate being in the Dominican Republic? Can u say "high maintenance"? She actually text XH that the food stinks, blah blah blah..
I had a very interesting talk with him yesterday. It was prompted by my kids' concern to his mood. I heard he was pouting that he hadn't gone with the Rat to Club Med..or so I thought.
Turns out he was more than happy to talk. I simply asked him if he was alright and the floodgates of MLC heaven opened up wide. He was talking to me about counseling, how his C told him he has a problem with "rescuing" women..(had to laugh at that one as he lumped me in that category..uh..don't think so.) Said he is sick of the drama...he said he was sorry for all the mean things he had done to me..then he corrected himself and said "really" mean things. I told him it was okay. I said we are friends now and can move on.
He went on and on about all the crap going on with his family. His brother cheating on his sis in law..His mom losing her job due to her temper tantrums..the works. I told him,"now you know why I was so quiet during all of your family get togethers"..He laughed..I told him I never fit in..He said I was better than them, anyway.
I said I heard you were getting girls' numbers..he laughed..said noone even glances at him when he walks by. I told him to stop feeling sorry for himself and get over it. I said you are an ambitious guy with a good head on your shoulders (well, maybe I stretched that one a bit too far..lol) and a good dad. I said stop sellling yourself short and SETTLING..He knew what I meant..aka-his R with the Rat.
He admitted he wanted to be with someone more of an equal, someone with a career, etc..I said funny, if you put me on match.com what would you think of my profile? Funny..huh? (I was referring to that is what he was saying he wanted..someone like me..I was overly independent back in the day and that seems to be what he is looking for..someone with a sense of self) Funny, he told me a long time ago the Rat put everything on hold for him..made him the center of his world..
hmm..now look what happened? He became her world..Her ONLY world..scary, huh?
So, I we had a nice talk but that was that..He was fine and I told him I was always on his side. I told him I wasn't going to list all the good thing about him as that wasn't appropriate (New Guy..ya know?) but I said maybe instead of trying to rescue women you can try to RESCUE YOURSELF?
long silence..
Then..he goes..hmm..maybe you are right..
So, my S tells me XH is all excited as he has been corresponding with somone on match.com..I couldn't resist so i went on the website..and there as big as day is his profile..
OMG! I could not BELIEVE he puts pics and EVERYTHING..The RAt is going to FREAK!
So, it gets better..
His ideal girl.
5'7- check Long hair - check blonde - check domestic - check independent but a team player - check educated - check non partier - check
Okay..all the things above were things he listed as his turn-ons..
ME!
As for the RAt short brown hair when they met (she dyed it blonde later..to look like me..lol) she is short she is the least domestic person you will ever meet and XH told me that..but he liked her sense of "adventure" (which turned out to be trying to decide which new restaurant to go to!) So needy..and he liked that in the begining..he said she needs me..she needs to be rescued..I can turn my back on her..(I was the opposite..I TOOK CARE OF HIM!)
So funny to read the "anti-Rat" profile..It is so funny..all the stuff he used to say he hated about me are now listed as the things he wants..
and the long hair thing..I had to laugh at that one since the Rat has had short hair forever..
Okay..enough of that..
I am glad he is getting out there and is confident to try to meet new people..
He did tell me yesterday that he no longer is drinking..
He never drank his whole life..not even on our wedding day..his dad was a terrible alcholic..So I asked him why he ever started to begin with (after we separated) He said the RAt kept telling him to "have a beer..take a sip..he would FEEL better"..nice form of enabling, huh?
Okay..rambling.. but I have so many emotions right now..
Sad Happy TIred Wired..
My XH is on match.com and he used me as a prototype for his "princess to spend happily ever after with"
