I hope everyone's TG day went well. I thought I'd log on this evening to reflect a bit about the last day. It was different, in an odd sort of way, but pleasant.
I picked up my 2 S's last night and brought them back to the apartment to eat dinner. We watched "Evan Almighty" (a cute movie, BTW. S's just love the animals and the slapstick comedic scenes.)
I tried contacting a friend of mine from my DivorceCare group; she had sent me a reply to a message I sent her earlier in the morning, which she had indicated that she would be spending the holiday without her two children and without her family. I did not actually see her reply until just before I left work, several hours later, and was alarmed and concerned.
I quickly fired off an email back to her telling her that if she was not spending TG with either family or friends, then to call me: she is welcome to have come over and share a TG meal and company with myself and my two S's -- no one should have to be alone on such a major holiday. I tried to call her phone number but there was no answer (wondering now if I had her number correct.)
This morning I got up at dawn -- the boys never, ever let me sleep in; they're early risers -- and after preparing them breakfast, I launched into starting the Thanksgiving meal. I also did a lot of house cleaning between tasks in the kitchen. All told, a very productive morning and at the same time I got to interact and visit with my kids.
I called my support group friend again, and got no reply. I prayed that I either misunderstood, or that she had already made arrangements with friends.
The TG meal I prepared was pretty darn good, if I don't say so myself. I had a boneless turkey breast, stuffing, gravy, green beans, cranberry compote, and an apple pie (S6's choice), but I got distracted at one point and burned the bottoms of the dinner rolls (they were just fine once I sliced that part off of each.)
My 2 S's ate okay, starting strong but dropping off quickly. They were likely still full from breakfast, and I was not so concerned they got very full at the midday meal since they were going to repeat this meal in the evening back in our house with W and the MIL. W was going to be working all day today and I invited her to stop by my place if she was in the area at the time and wanted to get a good lunch. I made the offer out of sincerity and concern, but I did not think she would take me up on it, and she did not.
And oddly enough, W had invited me over to eat TG meal with them in the evening, if I wanted. She offered again today, and I accepted. So, when I took our 2 S's back this evening, I stayed long enough to have a meal with them. MIL had prepared the meal, and had included a number of additional items I lacked in my own. It was good and the turkey was a little better than mine -- a bit more moist (a whole bird just cooks better.) And S's ate a little better too.
I thanked W and complemented and thanked MIL. I could tell MIL seemed to accept my presence with a bit of disdainful tolerance. She would have preferred I was not there, partaking of her hard work, that was obvious, but she was congenial. I was secretly chuckling to myself that MIL was probably upset with W for even making the invitation, but I decided I wasn't going to let that bother me.
As for my W, she also was congenial and friendly, but still standoffish and still trying to avoid physical contact. I am not entirely certain of her motivations. If I had to guess, W made the offer for the sake of our S's and so she could avoid any negative impressions be taken by our boys if their father was not there for this important occasion. It may also be just plain ole' guilt.
W was also probably annoyed that I would attempt my own meal in lieu of allowing her and her mother to have control over that venue for our 2 S's. If so, then tough -- this is what divorce looks like, baby.
In retrospect, putting out verbal invitations to my TG meal to both my W and my support group friend -- an attractive younger lady -- was probably not a very wise thing to do. I know, I know, this is dangerous waters. When folks like us are going through our situations, one has to be very careful with friends of the opposite gender. I know full well that I am no where near any point of starting a new relationship -- especially when I am still married to my W. Even if I were already D'ed, I know that I would still be years away from where a new relationship would be right and fair to the other person (one rule of thumb I heard was the average is one year for every four years married -- yikes!) So, this is (has to be) definitely a gesture of Christian agape-type friendship.
However, if the stars had aligned just so and my friend had indeed joined me and my S's for TG -- and then my W had decided to swing by for that lunch I offered... Hoooo, boy! W would not have seen anything but her H being an adulterous, backstabbing demon from hell -- and nothing on God's green earth would ever convince her that she had not already been guilty of the very same.
