Walk Away Wife - My Sitch

[bhopeful]

So W called me while I was at my parents and asked me to come over because she wanted to talk. I've never been to her place so this seemed like a pretty big deal. We talked quite a bit of R talk most of which was a rehash of the emails from earlier this week.

She also told me that she's sort of been seeing someone. An EA, nothing physical and she said that it happened by accident. She told me that people in the town where she is living started talking about it and she felt that I should know before she heard it from someone else. She said that she feels stupid for it happening. I think that I may have DBed a little too good as she was confused by my calm reaction. She asked me if I even cared. I told her of course I do. My first reaction was to get really mad, but I told myself that it would help anything and that I had to stay calm. She seemed to understand. She then asked me if I was afraid that she would find someone else. I said yes, but that I hoped that she would end things with me first. I then turned the question back on her. She said that she was afraid of it and that she didn't want it to happen. I assured her that it was the farthest thing from my mind.

She then asked me if I thought that things would be too weird if she ever did decide to come back home. My response was that we would have to take things slow. This would be a new relationship and we should give it time to grow. She then told me a couple times that I was her best friend and that she could tell me anything. I have to admit that this was the best thing to hear.

She still wasn't wearing her wedding ring, but when I used her bathroom I noticed that it was laying right next to her other rings on the sink. Maybe I'm just hopeful, but it looked like it was in a spot that you would put things that you are using everyday. It's a pedestal sink, so it's not like there's a lot of room.

I ended up staying for almost two and a half hours. She didn't want me to leave either, but I had to get home to the dogs. While we were talking she invited me over onto the couch with her. She didn't snuggle, but she did move in really close so that we were touching. I tried to be as validating and reasurring as I possibly could. On my way out she gave me some cookies that she had made and gave me a big hug.

She called pretty much right after I got home and thanked me for coming over. We talked about the dogs for a few minutes. She told me how she doesn't like going to bed or waking up alone. Then I told her that I was sorry that I couldn't stay longer. She said that it was probably for the better. When I asked why, she told me that it would have been too tempting to have me stay the night! I didn't know what to say. I think that I said that there were worse things that could happen in life...

So that was my night. I think that it was very positive even with hearing about the OM. It sounds like he's out of the picture or will be very soon. She asked me what to do about it since she's friends with him and she doesn't like to hurt anyones feelings. I said that was for her to decide, but I think you know how I feel about it.

Insight is always appreciated. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
B