Well I was thrown for a loop yesterday. DD and I were talking (or at least I was, she was slumped in her usual "I am just here position). It turns out she is going with H to our annual Christmas Mannheim Steamroller concert. It hit me hard and at first I said some unkind things (Is his girlfriend going along?, She threw about my "boyfriends" and I said "I wouldn't have boyfriends if her dad hadn't thrown me away but all the boyfriends know that I want my M and will go back at the drop of a hat", etc.) Then I calmed down and explained that last year I had DD all to myself and this year I have to share her. Plus, this was always a family affair and it hurts to not be wanted this year. I said this has nothing to do with her and her relationship with her dad. I asked if she could understand why I was hurting and she said "yes". Then I dropped it. DANG, I wanted this (DD and H to reconcile) but I didn't expect me to be as hurt as I am. Guess, I'll have to get use to not be wanted again.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
