Sun, I think he does and does not want to leave. What I do think is that you need him to go. He has got to sort himself out, and you, my dear,like me, are an enabler.
Be pleasant and firm. Tell him it is better for you and the family if he goes now. You will feel bleak for a bit, and THEN you will start to feel better. If necessary go somewhere else for a few days while he finds a place, but personally I would agree a date. You are not quitting your marriage, you are doing this to try and save it.
I don't say this lightly, but I have been concerned about your sitch for a long time. Time for a 180. Dear sweet Sun becomes firm, learns Pole dancing, tango, has fun
