I am proud of you for ditching the photos. On my worst days I would like to take photos of me and my H in bed together, then send the photos to the ow. Or a nice family christmas card, with a group photo of us all happy and together.
I have been in a real ditch with angry, unforgiving thoughts about the ow. All I can say is that I crave feeling resentment. How awful. The weird part is that my H is being so sweet, kind and loving. Best of all....
HE HAS BEEN SAYING I LOVE YOU!!
Whoo, Hoo!
So why am I fixating on what a loser she is, and how disgusting his behavior was last year? I keep telling my H that it is running its course, soon to be purged. I seem to be right on the one year grief schedule my therapist told me I would experience. I am coming up on the year anniversary of when the bomb ILYBNILWY was dropped. Then a month after that, the surreal day I found out about the affair ( I called his boss!). So I am actively trying to do symbolic things to heal my heart and mind.
One is that I am planning fantastic, fun holidays.
Two is pure genius: I found out that the ows apartment was right next door to an athletic club. Every time I drive past that stupid neighborhood I feel nauseated. So, I signed up for a ten day trial membership at the athletic club. I cant afford a full membership, but I think this will give me just enough time to establish really positive memories and demystify the whole neighborhood. When I go to the club I park right in front of where she lived. I am also planning on getting a slice of pizza at the place they often did. Maybe I will put my kids in the stroller and have a lovely day on the pier nearby. My plan is to totally normalize the area.
One bit of suspense remains: The OW no longer lives in the neighborhood, but she still works out at the athletic club. There is a chance I may run into her there. If I do, I hope to God that I can say the perfect thing.
Praise God for His miracle of restoration in my marriage! Bless you all and happy Thanksgiving! The Girl
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 11 yrs (7th year was HELL) 3 daughters Survived Affair, 6 month separation Rebuilt marriage Currently stuck
