TLC???

[JennyF]

I have been posting on the newcomers forum for a couple weeks now and I am in need of some direction with regards to my H's life crisis.

He is not in Mid-life crisis, as he is only 29, but is in transitional crisis. Everything I have read on this forum including all of the stages are EXACTLY I've been experiencing. It's like someone scripted my life.

Some details are in my signature...a quick overview of my current status...
H dropped bomb Sept 10th, he flip flopped from saying he wanted to try to fix us to it being over in a matter of days. I was 8 months pregnant at the time and he's been having an affair for 9 months (the pregnancy was planned). We have a 2 1/2 year old D and now have a one month old B.
He says it's over and is trying to move things along quickly. It doesn't matter that I've just had a baby. He's displaying all the selfish characteristics I've read about and this is NOT the man I married!

At bomb drop...he could see the light at the end of the tunnel...but has gone so deep into the darkness that he is lost. BUT, he believes he is perfectly fine and is pursuing is R with OW (who is 10 yrs older than H and twice divorced).

He is moving fast and wants me to consider selling the house.
I backslid tonight when we discussed it and told him I wasn't ready to think about it. That I'm not emotionally ready to look at those important decisinns right now based what I've had to deal with the last 2 months and having a newborn. The conversation turned into a fight. He doesn't get it and is REALLY mad at me.

Up until this point I have been DB'ing my butt off and doing well. He's been getting angrier and angrier. He's trying to pick fights with me and I'm not biting. At some point he's going to have to look in the mirror. But I feel like I took a thousand steps back tonight regarding the selling the house conversation.

He is moving things along so quickly and I have no idea how to respond. How do I protect and look out for what is right for me while not being argumentative?

I want to understand more about the stages. I've read all of the links on MLC and can really relate to all of it.
I believe H is in Replay and is at the point where we're waiting for the awakening. Are their triggers for this?

I'm hoping to find some support here to help me understand what to do. Each time we have conversations like tonight I feel it is another nail in the coffin of our marriage.
I look forward to hearing any feedback.
J~