affairs are extremely hard to deal with, espcially when your spouse believes that they are doing nothing wrong. my H believed that because we were separated, this made it ok to have a full blown relationship, even though he was persistant in telling me that he was unsure if our marriage was over or not and my H and i continued to be physically intimate.
i think what is so attractive is the fact that the new person is being everything that they want them to be. it's light. it's easy, it's everything marriage is not. it is so very true that they need to die a natural death; if your spouse is unready to give up the other person, even if it is to try to save the marriage, i GUARANTEE the other person will come back into the picture in one way or another. they have to see that the relationship with the OP is not all it's cracked up to be, and definately not worth throwing their family away.
what i've found most difficult about this is what it's done to my self esteem. i think about her often as we live in the same town. i worry. i am a very attractive woman, however, this has left me feeling inadequate and self-concious, like i can easily be replaced.
OF- i am unsure of how to deal with this imbalance. i've started by making a clear list in my mind of what is definately not acceptable behavior. most of the stuff you can let go, when this is not the case, i take a stand with no room for discussion.
