Just got back from IC (again). We covered a ton of ground in a short time. I scared her a little yesterday--she saw that it didn't seem that anything was going to stop the "episode." I think the AlAnon meeting helped, but it was really just getting sleep and time. Worked with IC tonight, so we are going to try the mantra-thing (but with POSITIVE messages), guided imagery and yoga to try to clear the mind as a nightly ritual, so hopefully I can use that to thought-stop.
It was brought on by three or four events happening so close together--dating when I wasn't ready (and seeing the life that is outside of my marriage, not being inspired or wanting it), knowing that the kids and H were visiting with what used to be my family, Thanksgiving being so different...all with no sign of H gaining his sanity.
So, I have to do what I can to limit the outside triggers, but I also have to find a way to stop the slide.
IC noted that I still haven't let go; getting there, but not there yet. And that means I'm still on step one. Hard to hear after going through this for a year, now.
