Well, I woke up to the email that he's leaving. Again. How many is that now over the past 2 years? No idea.
He said he'd be leaving after his birthday at the end of December. I said no, if you're going, you go tonight. He said no and I said I'd be home after work and I wanted him gone. Haven't checked the closets, but it doesn't look like he's gone.
What to do? What to do? He has to work on himself. He seems more bipolar daily.
The kids are fed up. I'm tired. I was fine until I walked into work and they looked at me and knew something was wrong and I almost lost it. I know I'll be fine. Will he? What will become of him? If he leaves he has no one. His own family doesn't have anything to do with him and they don't deal with problems well.
S23 says it's a carrot H likes to hold in front of me to control me. Is he right? I don't know. I think H honestly believes he wants out. He does not believe there is any getting past it all.
I told him last night that people aren't disposable, especially your family and he said yes they are. Things happen, you leave those people behind and move on.
So, tonight should be a real winner. Not! I'm dreading it something awful. I don't have a lot of cooking to do, but I will find something to do to stay out of his way. What a way to live, huh?
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
