ot, you are right in that my experiment with dating was a disastour--I took my profile off the dating sites. No where near ready, and may not be ready for quite a long time, I think. I have to be on my own, even when it sucks so bad (especially at night).
If I can hope that I can overcome my codependency, maybe H will someday. But as of right now, I'm not holding my breath. I saw on another thread, the Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. I am going to ask the FC to get H to read something, ANYthing, to do the best job he can with his new role without continuing to stick his head in the sand and think that the kids are unaffected. Meanwhile, I will just do the best that I can when they are with me.
I was thinking about it today at the grocery...everything that we have thought of each other is actually the polar opposite over the last year.
He has turned out to be the one with no repect or appreciation for the other spouse. He did things to me that I never deserved. He left the marriage long before I even was aware of it. Even though he says he has no regrets over the affair, he will (as soon as he can actually see his own reflection in the mirror).
I am the one who deserves to be treated better, to have things made up to. I have nothing to regret or be so sorry for--any issues that I had were able to be addressed with a simple conversation. I did all I could to change, save the marriage, etc. I can sleep at night, and hold my head high with my choices.
Everyone thought that he was the perfect husband, "such a good guy." And it was actually me who was stronger and had higher values all along. Go figure....
