an xh, his FF, Thanksgiving, MIL, and one psuedo-R

[Dom R]

Ya know... for as bad as you feel right now... I think you've handled things *really well*.
congrats to you.

Gonna make a suggestion to you. I've made it before: please listen this time?

Got into an argument with xh. (I started it. Before I even read here this morning.) He still doesn't think we're playing married. (Um. Hello?)

You really... REALLY.. need to stop this.
You need to stop saying, "we're acting like we're married".
To quote michelle, "It's not working. So stop it"


Now, for something new to try:

He did tell me, again, that I'm the only one he can depend on, the only one he really trusts, how comfortable it is around me, likes spending time with me, talking about his issues with me, etc.

Some people approach marital reconciliation, with the viewpoint, that "the old marriage is dead and buried. gone. it's history. It's time to build a new marriage"

I think that approach may be what might work best for you.

So, to tie it back to what I just quoted;
rather than saying, "look, we're already married!"...

how about first dropping any of this arguing stuff, for a week, to let things cool off.... then saying something like,
"when someone finds another person of the opposite sex, that they trust more than anyone else, and are more comfortable around than anyone else, and likes spending time with.... that's usually a good reason for them to think about marrying that person".

So, .. enough of the "we're already married" stuff... how about if you were seeing someone brand new, and they said all that nice stuff about you.. how would you make them feel comfortable enough to propose to you?



[a bit of "me" whining... gah.. the "trust" thing, is a sore point with my wife. She claims we cant be together, because she cant "trust" me, or I dont "trust" her.
What I think is really at the heart of that, is, "I no longer trust her enough to think that when she's playing around with online games, and men, that she isnt trying to have guys pick up on her and get romantically involved with them".
That's the ONLY major area there's an issue with. But it's apparently the ultimate most important thing to her, that's more important than being with our children, or what's best for our children ]