new here. Feel like dying

[Dom R]

Well, last night I tried talking to him about the changes I'd like to see as well. He got really angry. Said he won't go to mc with me or go to church with me, until he sees changes on my end. I told him that isn't how things work. We BOTH change, go to mc TOGETHER, or it just can't work at all.

I think that's a reasonable standpoint from you.

If you want to take extra steps, to be the better person, and reach out to him more than you "have to", "reasonably speaking".... then I have some suggestions for you.

He then yelled at me for not cleaning the car, and "changing."
I'm thinking that I was never able to live up to his expectations before we seperated, I'm not able to do it now either. He wants a spot-less house (I work full-time and do 95% of the child-care stuff like cooking, baths, books, diapers, laundry, etc...) and he refuses to pitch in. He then gets mad when the car isn't spotless. And, I really do mean he wants everything SPOTLESS.

You might tell him, that if he wants a "traditional marriage", then he can have it. A traditional marriage, means that THE WIFE DOESNT HAVE TO WORK!

Until you dont have to work, he has no right to demand all this extra from you.

PS: as far as the car goes: around where I live, there are places that will wash and clean your car fairly thoroughly, for $5-10. plus you can get lunch there.

So, why not have lunch at one of those places one day, and spend the extra money to have it cleaned?

PS: as far as divorce goes, you usually have to divorce in the place of your primary residence, i think.

I won't be walking on eggshells everyday waiting for him to erupt because of a toothpaste smudge on the bathroom counter, or a goldfish cracker on the floor of the car.

Ugh. He seriously does have anger management problems.