The Good, the Bad, and the Funny Part 6

[nephartiti]

Hi MK. How are you doing? There's nothing wrong with cookies for Christmas. It will be the same for us I'm guessing, since H no longer seems to feel a financial responsibility to his children. That's ok by me. I am perfectly capable of providing as long as he leaves me alone. I, like you, wish no ill, but wish him and his absent from my life. For the most part, he is doing a good job, and I am happy. My kids are happy. Life is good.

On the dating thing... hmmmmm... I say just go with the flow and do what brings you happiness.

Have a happy holiday

[mkultra]

Garbage Day

I do not know why but I get a weird satisfaction on the night before Garbage Day. LOL! They weeks are flying by and I see my neighbors and say the exact same thing, "I cannot believe it is Garbage Day already! Didn't I just do this?" It is as if another week has flown by and there has been no drama, no tears, no arguing. Yes, I do wait for that dreadful other shoe to drop, but until then status quo is just fine.

Do you know what those other shoes look like? Just look on these forums. Geez. Crazy OP, etc. That still gives me the creeps really. I try to never think about and focus on the hot dudes in my life but I hate to think that my H is such a dirty old man because of my daughter, and yes, me and my mom, too, but I am holding my head up so high that I feel like the Starter Wife.

[mkultra]

Journaling:

You know previously how I wrote my H has never called me to say anything nice, admit his denial, show contrition-impossible!, or just to state that he even misses me as a friend.


Well, he called last night twice to talk, chat. I was very nice, joked, laughed, he could not tell, but I teared up talking about my/ oops our son's legs. We joked that thankfully he has my shapely legs and not my H's bird legs. We laughed about that so I am sure H was also teary about this. He apologized for bothering me and calling so late, not once but twice. That was weird. I let him know the kids were not home to take the call because they were at a slumber party and I took the call in the bath so H either thinks I am home alone or getting ready for a hot date. Hee hee. So what, I am just GALing! I just ended up going to work for my Mom's birthday.

[mkultra]

Sally, I was thinking about you and how brave you are to use your real name and how I wish you knew me and my real name! I am thinking about you all the time, especially when I am doing the mom at home thing. I think I could be so much better at this time and I feel selfish as if GAL is about spending time away from them instead of with them. Before it was all about them and spending every minute together.

Neph, I really do want to do Thanksgiving at home. My family just does not get that but my D's TH agreed that it would be very good for us to have our own small dinner as a new family together. Especially if it is seen as a goal for me to be independent and to start new traditions. Funny, my H asked what we were doing for Thanksgiving and I just replied, "Going to my Brother's". And that was it. Good.

My brother and mother think it is such a waste of time and money for me to cook for my own family but I kind of feel like a third wheel in this sitch. Never before, just now. People just do not get that when a married mom goes out and does things alone it is by choice but when a single mom HAS to to everything by herself it feels different. It can feel anywhere from exhilarating and independent to lonely and pathetic.. So picturing me and my kids sitting single at my bro's house is just not as empowering as me cooking and preparing and having a few friends over for fun. I just see it that way.

[SallyM]

mk, morgan wasn't my real name, either. far too paranoid for that one, but its a name I adopted to use online for many years, and one h is familiar with, hence the paranoia. I had a hard time coming up with a new fake name, actually, and still see sally and wonder who the heck is she? lol.

weird about your h's and your phone call. I'd say nice, because it is nice, too, of course, but I'm so jaded at this point. am wondering if you h is waking up?

I wish you a wonderful thanksgiving. we have so many blessings in our lives, don't we? I'm going to try to concentrate on those instead of what I've lost.

[mkultra]

I think the idea of postponing Thanksgiving until Saturday is a wonderful one. I just am not in the mood tomorrow. I want to start new traditions, like baking empanadas with my daughter, but I am just so tired from working and cleaning! Whew. It is much harder than I thought to be a single parent!! House stuff really adds up.

[mkultra]

Journaling:

I am not sure if I can recommend Enchanted by Disney Rated PG. There are just too many separation/ divorce/ abandonement themes left running around in the film. I did not know this before planning a family day at the movies. Yes, this is the first time for my H and I to do anything together as a family for a looong while as I have been Dark and Safe and Happy. So the dimmer came up. And I was a good girl.

****SPOILER ALERT!!!*****
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Back to the film.
The Fairy Tale Princess is cast into reality. Her reality saviour played by Patrick Dempsy, a jaded divorce lawyer. First uh oh scene with the kids in tow takes place during an actual divorce proceeding.

Next, the Fairy Tale Princess is extremely naive young and innocent yet the 40 year old betrothed single father, Patrick Dempsy is still attracted to her. Now if she is like the rest of Disney Princesses, she should be between 17-22!! He walks in on her in the shower and he parades around in his bath robe while she strokes his chest. WTH??

Even though both folks are commited to others we see how their emotional attachment grows as they go on a "date" even though Dempsey says it is not a "date" because they are just friends. This confuses the Princess because they are together in a nice place eating good food.

Further, the D6 in the movie has no idea where her mother is and why she abandoned them and the father does not want to talk about it. Great. So my D6 could relate to the six year old because she has no idea why her father left her either!

Finally, both couples switch partners and it feels like more betrayal. Like all is well that ends well even though we were committed to marry other partners, attraction rises above all commitment. Dumb message for kids.

I could almost see how my H could use the film as a vehicle to show that his OW could be a nice new addition to the family because she could be a young fun step monster like the girl in the film to the daughter. Instead of the original more competent girlfriend who was a more appropriate age but barely. Yuck. I have heard that so much, that the younger OW/ new girlfriend is really more like a fun sister than a parent. How sick is that?

I laughed a lot in the movie but be warned if you have a kid going through that stuff. Disney puts out too many movies where the man is the saviour and the Princess is weak.

[nephartiti]

MK, I find housework easier with H gone, for some reason. Let's see... less dishes, less laundry, less shopping, less clutter. He didn't help around the house much. He was just one more person to take care of, one more person to try to please.

I get what you mean, though.

[Reincarnated]

mk--thanks for the heads-up on the movie--I was thinking of taking the kids to that after dinner tomorrow!

Oh, and its Sally, now, huh? Go on a couple days to la-la land, and look at all the changes... ;0)

[mkultra]

It may still be a fun movie for everyone and you may even be able to use some of the issues to talk about. BTW the couple at the beginning going through a divorce do reconcile and see that divorce is not the right path!!


The jilted girlfriend also ends up with the prince so that is good.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I am crying. Not in a pathetic lonely way. BUT that darned Stevie Wonder song does it to me!!! I started to do some DAMN math. I have been holding a torch for this man for 23 years! I have no one else that holds a candle to him even though he is close to worthless right now. But what if it takes another 23 years!!! Then that would make me my MOm's age now!!! Oh Lordy. Love Math??

OK the crying stops when the song stops.

"I Believe When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever" Stevie Wonder