Why can't I do this....

[houndfan]

Thanks guys. Hurtin, I am in the process of moving back to CO which is home to me and I hope that when that happens that maybe we can all be a family again, I think that moving here was a big mistake, but I digress.

Here is the current update for those of you who are scoring at home...

Today was the day that Hound agreed to take the relentless puppy back to the pound. No this is not figurative speech, but I actually had to take our 10 mo old to the pound because she is out of control and with everything else in our life the last thing that anyone needs is additional drama and anxiety.

It was killer for me, because it is a reality that my life is really changing, not that I don't get that from being kicked out of my home, but this is a forever type of change. So, I get there and like a blessing there is a lady who is the wife of a vet waiting to pick up her dog that got out of a friends house and picked up by the dog catcher. Anyhow, she sees the pup and I and she could see that I was in obvious pain from this decision. We start to talk about the pup and it turns out that she and her husband (whom is a vet) have been looking for a little dog like this for their ranch. Pinch me, this is like the Twilight Zone. 2.5 acres, horses, cats, other dogs the whole bit and they wanted a little dog like this to "run" the horses. They are willing to take her if I would give her up to them. I confirmed that her H was a vet and that this was a real deal thing. And in tears I gave her away.....

Sooooo.... W calls to see how it went, told her and she was very happy. Boys seemed happy too that this happened and that God stepped in to help the pup. Then.... she gave me s*it about the phone call yesterday from another woman. For those of you who have been absent. Yesterday I was at the house doing some things that I have neglected and during the process I got a call from a girl that I had talked to Monday night while watching the game with my buddies and some of their wives/girlfriends.

Nice girl, very attractive, attorney, professional etc. Well, all I could talk about was my sitch and my kids and my dreams. You'd think that would turn off another woman, whatever. Anyhow, she called my buddy and asked for my number (same guy that set me up with tix to a concert that W wanted to goto). He of course gave her the number. She called and it was very brief stuff. How are you? Nice to meet you? Hope to talk to you again type of stuff? I was not expecting the call or I would not have taken it in front of W and kids, but I did not recognize the number.

Well, got off the phone and W asked who it was. Since I am trying to be transparent I told her exactly who it was, how she got my number, and that I was not interested. She was upset.

Well, today on the phone, she brought it up again and told me how inappropriate taking the call was. I agreed and validated. She kind of made a comment about how she never takes calls from OM in front of the kids and that I should do the same. Then she lamblasted my friend for giving out my number. How could he do this, does he not know that you are trying to save your marriage, have you told him everything, have you told him that it was you who cheated and not me, you who did the bad stuff and not me. Yada, yada....

So as I was listening and trying to keep my mouth shut it hit me. There is no accountability on her side at all. She really thinks that this OM is innocent and not cheating. It's not cheating because she is emotionally divorced right now so it's ok. Hmmmm... as I get my arms around that I almost agree with her, but it seems so strange to have that agreement. Oh well, neither here nor there.

Then the convo turned to X-mas and the fact that my folks have decided to come down from CO to be here considering the sitch. I told her the schedule and she seemed really happy. One of the issues that she has had through our marriage is this bitterness about her own family and the fact that her parents have basically abandoned her and she had to use my fam as surrogates. Anyway, she asked where they would stay and I explained at other family in the area.

Well why are they coming? To be with us, might be the last time they get this chance and they want to have a great Christmas with our family. She seemed almost happy about it. But trying not to look too deep.

Convo moved to upcomming community garage sale and what we should sell. Again very agreeable through the whole thing even through there are some things that I do not want to sell. Then she asks, yes I said asks, what we should do with the proceeds? She says "would you mind if we did x". Again, agreeable, yes W I think that is a great idea. Again it hit me, for the first time in my marriage, my thoughts are first about her happiness than my needs. Strange that this is my thought process now and that it was not prompted.

Well, we walked through that a little and I again used some of Michelle's and Homer's techniques (I hope that we can do that). I finally told her I needed to run. Well, she asked, what are we going to do tomorrow? Whatever you want to do, I said. Well I guess well do a turkey, I need you to come help me in the morning.

Viola, done. Fin.

Not much there, baby stepping away.

Have a great holiday to all of you who have been following my sitch! I'll be praying for you all....