It's times like this that force people to look inside themselves and find out what they really know and what they really believe. I'm not talking specifically about religion, although religion can be part of it. I mean, what do you believe about how the universe works? Do you believe that bad things like cancer are totally random re whom they strike? or is a vengeful God punishing us? or is a demanding God purifying us in the fires of suffering? or is it karma-- payback for some past misdeed? is there no order or meaning at all and getting cancer or being in the Twin Towers on September 11 is just plain bad luck? is cancer strictly hereditary-- bad luck to be born with some messed up chromosomes? or a result of a myriad of physical causes too numerous ever to pin down and avoid?
What do YOU believe is happening to you?
Lill, I haven't really thought much about the "why" this is happening to me. I don't feel that God is punishing me for some past sins. I believe He tests us, He tests our faith in Him through various means...this might be one of them.
But at the same time, there is a part of me that feels "yea, this might be totally random." This is the part that sees a small child battling cancer...if it's a test of faith, why is this small child that basically is too young to fully understand if at all, just what faith is? What is the purpose of their suffering?
I think a lot of tests are self imposed, I feel He looks at them, not as a test of faith towards Him, but how well we are prepared in our own will that is generated by that faith. I'm sorry, I don't feel my knee injury is an act of God to test my faith in Him. I feel that it's a test of my own will that is provided to me by my faith in God....ok... I see now how your questioning is trying to get me to think...insert "cancer" in place of "knee injury." Right? The answers are there...just have to know where and how to look for them.
