I feel I am changing but not yet changed. Her custody crap got to me b/c I let it. It was good to write the angry email and not send it. I will be honest that I was thinking of sending it this time. But the "wait 24 hour" rule was also running around in my head. I think the little boy was winning but then I got the email from my friend and that silenced the little boy.
Sometimes maybe we need to let them have it - in an assertive way. Staying on the high road is great but there are potholes - that feeling of self-righteousness and superiority. By "holding my temper" I also see passive-aggressive behavior resulting. No, not behaviors aimed at her, but behaviors that get internalized and that is not good.
Time to man-up again and let this pass.
I am glad I did respond to her in a non-aggressive way. Her responses provided a great deal of understanding as to her feelings she has right now. And how her little girl is running the show.
I just got this from her, so manning-up is not a bad thing:
"I am sorry if I upset you. I got the settlement draft yesterday. I think our issue is trust or maybe fear, and perhaps it's an artificial issue. I hope you know in your heart that I am not trying to get you to give up the kids."
