Jar...when your MIL stops by, act as if you're doing really well. Perhaps she will mention something to your wife about how content you seem. That will get the wife thinking.
Keep it up man, we're in your corner!
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
tal.. I've had several invites (wich is way cool) and I'm hitting a good friends of mine. He and his wife have been SUPER supportive. They are my kids godparents.
OK.. so MIL/FIL came over. Kept the convo pretty light. MIL is worried that W will hate her for life for selling her Mare. I'm more worried she'll hate me. MIL is still of the opinion that this was her choice in that matter.
It seems like they were standoffish. I wonder what she's been telling them.
Evidently W was supposed to be trying to sell the horseS (W said she was attempting to keep at least one of them) and has done nothing in those regards. MIL set this up all on her own. I'm sure W is ticked.
Matter of fact.. it's time where she takes D5 to school and no call. MIL is probably talking to her.
They did ask what I was doing for Thanksgiving and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I had wanted to send them an email basically saying I was bummed about not spending it with them (1st time is 5 years easily) since they have been a very close extended family, but I think I'll leave it alone.
Don't worry about your wife's feelings on the mare. Your W made her choices, and now she has to live with them. Them's the breaks. If OM is so wonderful, why doesn't she ask him to help her keep the horses? She may try to blame you, but do not accept any responsibility.
I'll echo Ohio Mark's thoughts on your wife's statements about wanting to spend time with you. Be very careful. It would be very easy to get sucked back into letting her have her cake and eat it too. In my view, visiting the horses could very well be a ploy to guilt you into paying for their upkeep. Keep your power; you've come too far to give it up now.
I'm glad that you are spending Thanksgiving with people who are supportive of you. If you decide to send an email to the in-laws, a simple "Happy Thanksgiving" communicates your good wishes without giving anybody ammo to use against you at a later date.
I have to put my $.02 in here about the email to in-laws. I wouldn't b/c that will end up putting them in an uncomfortable position as to how to respond.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Yeah.. funny thing about OM. He hates horses!! Shake my head at every turn.
I completely agree with not accepting responsibility.. and I won't. Unfortunately, she's immature enough to blame me for it. I guess that's what I'm dreading. The inevitable. It is what it is.
Oh yeah.. each time we've been out there she lays it on.. "See.. the girls love the horses.. I do too... isn't there something we can work out?"
Each time I simply say "I can't"
If the visit today is anywhere near successful, we more than likely will not be visiting the horses.. unless it's to say goodbye and I DO NOT WANT TO BE THERE FOR THAT!!!
That will be a a cruise ship sized guilt trip.
As for the in-laws.. I think I've said my peace (is it peace or piece?).. ah found it. It's piece. Cooky. Learn something new everyday!!
Anywhooo... Get to go sign the Temporary Agreement Order. YAY!!
Jar... dont worry about signing the temp agreement. I went to court when my wife wanted a D and it scared the hell out of me. I was 100% certain we were done. After a few months of detaching and GAL she dropped the divorce and wanted to work on us. By that time I had let go of her and was hiding behind this big wall of anger I had for her, it prevented me from really being sad.
Keep your chin up Jar... trying times like these are really buiding your character.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I wasn't worried about it... just sad that it's being done day before Thanksgiving. Holidays RULE!!
I'm not scared of the D. I honestly and truly believe it may be the best thing for me.
SO.... after signing the paperwork, I went to the Chiropracter. Only reason I go is W used to work there. Doc is cool as hell and the office manager is a friend of ours. Evidently W has picked up extra hours filing for him.
The chick is cool and a good friend to us. She told me she hates what W has become and has basically told her she is stupid. She doesn't know how good she had it etc. So.. a few interesting tidbits. She has told friend she doesn't want the D. She also said she couldn't stand to see me with someone else "We were married for soo long".. friend told her that was stupid. Evidently she's gotten texts from several folks including guys. I supposedly texted her while she was there (can't remember it) and she was giddy like a school girl. Said that sometimes I ask how her day was etc. She likes it. What do I do with that?
Went to pick up D5 from school and there was a hot chick there checking me out.. couldn't tell if she was a parent or sister. Listening to her she sounded young/imature, but she looked full grown
Picked up D3 from daycare.. saw mom and she acted like she could care less. She did touch my arm and say "Bye Hon" when I left. She's used the pet names (Hon, Sweetheart, Dear) many times. Not sure what to make of that either.
I got to wondering what she is doing tonight. I noticed that OM's kids were still in school which tells me he's got em. I wonder if she pawned off her kids to go have some sort of Thanksgiving dinner with him and his kids. That would be pretty low.
Also.. being Snoop Doggy Dog.. checked her email and evidently she sent her "theme" song to OM this morning.
WTF?? Guess the alien has resurfaced.
The talk with friend was nice.. it's good to hear someone's point of view who has truly seen both sides.
