W8ing, sorry I couldn't answer before now because it was my night for swimming lessons, and the weather is screwing with my satellite internet.
I just went through this exact thing a few weeks ago. I felt anger and betrayal on top of the long lived rejection of IDLYA, I'm in love with another man. (I suppose that not many men go through having their wives try to screw them over financially.) Anyway, I know where you are coming from here.
Please don't be scared. It keeps us from doing what we need to do. I was, and still am scared sometimes, but we have to push through that. It is a fear of the unknown. We are afraid of what we can't control, and when it is about our most beloved things, it can be terrible.
I have this taped to my desk.
Quote:
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
As to whether you should say / write something to him, here is my take.
First, don't be too wrapped up about deciding if you should. You have time to decide. Nothing is going to happen or be decided "right now." Whatever does happen is most likely going to take a few months at the least. You have some time to decide if you should, and what you should say if you do. You are in control of this part of it.
Your post questions whether he needs to hear this or not. I would say that there are 2 questions.
Is there something that YOU NEED him to hear?
Will this make a positive difference to him if he does hear it? This is the same thing as "does he need to hear it."
If there is something that you need him to hear, or rather, something that you need to say, have heard, and have done with it for yourself, then yes, I believe that you should say it.
If not, then it comes back to whether it will make a positive difference to him
I am sorry to say that from your threads and your H's similarities to my STBXW's situations, I don't believe that this would make a positive impact on your H. It might be one of the positives that he holds on to until he begins to come out of this, but it is just as likely to be a "pushing" type of action to him.
About the 2x4s, I'll take all those for you, you don't deserve a single one. I would really appreciate it if my STBXW let me know about things the boys are concerned with.
I'm so sorry. This stinks.
((((()))))
-------------- The Forlorn Hope:...A picked body of men detached to the front to begin the attack....Fortified, meaning strengthened to stand...and thus, positioned for victory
