YEA! I'm so excited at the potential here for some help. Thank you, Mrs. NOP and others!
Ok, I will do my best here. (Can someone tell me how to make the QUOTES?)
MrsNOP said: In what way do you perceive him as putting too much emphasis on sex? Wants sex too often? If so, how often? Talks about sex too often? If so, how often? Complains about sex too often? How often? Does every issue (non sexual) you (Zuzu) may be having tend to end up with "sex" (as in "yeah, well you don't ____ sexually) as his response?
Well, he asked me the other day when we were in an argument how often Dr. Phil said couples should have sex. In my head I thought, "This oughta be good." Don't ask me where he got this from. He said four times a week. Then followed it up with, "But I'd settle for once a month if you were into it." Well, that's not true, but I think he would like it at least twice a week, more like 3-4+. And, on occasion, that would feel great for me too, but if two weeks went by and we hadn't, I wouldn't be furious and resentful like he gets. So that's really what I mean about him placing too much emphasis on it. Also, I'm more happy with it being "boring" sex most of the time, oral is great for both of us, but I don't think we need toys/porno/marathon sessions, etc., on a regular basis, but might be ok on an occasional basis.
Also, it is NOT a turn on the way he will refer to sex in ordinary conversation, etc. It seems very immature to me. I have recently put that tag on it (in my head) because I couldn't figure out why I couldn't just laugh along, but I guess yes, in the right circumstance, it CAN be funny, but it can also get old and be a real turn-off. Sometimes he's resentful and angry and sometimes is just being playful. JUST LAST NIGHT, I was telling him that I can actually touch the back of my throat with the upper side of my toothbrush to brush my tongue but the side that is supposed to brush my tongue gags me instantly. (I know, hot conversation, huh??) He says, "so what else can you do with your throat?" then smiles a huge smile. I mean, I guess that's funny, but I can't at that moment lean in and purr to him, ooh, let me show you. Sorry, try again buddy. But I don't want to be an outright bit$3 about it, so I just kind of laugh half-heartedly and move on.
Another time, he brought it up, he was totally angry. We were going through a major hump where we weren't having much sex at all, fighting most times that we talked, etc. He was complaining about me painting the kitchen cabinets in the evening. (But if HE had something he wanted to do, then THAT was ok.) He had been practically mute on the topic of colors, etc., but then I glazed a few to see how I liked the look and he said in a flat voice, "yeah, those look pretty good." He is an ARTIST and I am not! He also had been saying how he totally could care less, etc. I told him I'd love for us to be able to think of these house things as "we" projects, not "me" projects. Anyhow, so he said that and it made me instantly excited to do them all that way! I did a little yippee dance and said "I can't wait to do it!!" He ROLLED his eyes, scoffed and said, "you mean the cabinets, not me, right?" OMG, I about died. I was actually happy that he was taking a bit of interest and showing approval of my work and I IRRITATED him? I couldn't believe it. I guess it boiled down to he was jealous. He said, "I wish I could get you that excited." That royally pissed me off and seemed very immature, so it is that he puts so much emphasis on whether or not we're doing it, then whether or not I'm "into it" then what we're doing, I just feel unless it's Olympic sex every other day, he's gonna complain.
I have to go for now, but hopefully that answers the top portion somewhat. I know it's a huge task but my old posts were almost journaling as we've gone along.
