I am drained. Had an 'out of the blue' R talk today. It whipped me.
H and I were sitting together in the same room (kids in school) and I blurted out "Either you tell OW to stop calling our house, or I'll tell her.". I wish you could have seen him, practically fell out of his chair. He was totally busted. I told him I wasn't stupid, and I can't stop some things, but will stop that. I told him I might just call her anyway, just to make sure she knows I am serious. If anything, maybe she'll pee in her pants, worried that I am going to call her H.
That led to an R talk, the highlights:
Him: *he misses me, angry with me, wants me back, wants to run away *went through his usual list of complaints about me *is CERTAIN I am: cheating on him and hiding money (said he wouldn't blame me for either. WTF?) I told him no to both. *has wanted to leave but didn't want to be the a$$ before my birthday, then before Halloween, now before holidays. *is scared that it will get nasty with the girls/money *misses our friendship *isn't worried about the girls' adjustment at all (if he separate), thinks they'll be fine
Me: *can't be his friend right now (anti DB but true), but can be friendly and co parent together. Did say I missed his friendship. *the fact that he is still seeing/talking to OW all this time hurts more than the initial bomb (he cried here, I never cried) *I would have more patience with him (waiting for him to figure himself out), if there was no OW. To me, that means there is really no decision to make *I know he doesn't care about me/love me anymore (told him not to answer or say anything, I have learned not to ask questions I don't want to hear answers to) *I don't deserve to live with someone that thinks so low of me, that its not good for me. *He does deserve to be happy, as do I.
We had to end it since I had to pick up D3 from school. Things ended fine. I thanked him for a few things: being consistent with some changes I have made with the girls re: bedtime, keeping up the house, fixing our cell phone problem, and saving us money in other bills (made some calls, switched us to a new company). Told him he was a great dad, and that if anything, we can do this nicely for the kids........
