Long and bumpy road

[sandi2]

Well, if I were writing it (and I'm not this is you), but I probably would say it differently. I wouldn't play the martyr. That way, he can't come back at you with defense or more lies. I may be wrong, but you kind of remind me of my little sister. She could let her xh talk her into anything and she never had the courage to stand her ground with him. So, even if you have to do it in a letter or have somebody with you everytime he comes around, until you get through it to face him down....whatever it takes. But anyway, what I started to say was, that I think if it were me, I would just tell him that I first thought that I could not live without him and that I would die when I found out about the OW in his life. I also thought that he would surely see that I was the better person and I had depended on his smarts to bring him to his senses and come back home. (Don't put yourself down by saying anything about trying to be a better wife, etc.) But, I have decided he wasn't as smart as I had first thought. I have also discovered that I had taken all the disrespect I was going to take in my life that I could live without him just fine and in fact I had decided that was what I prefered to do. I took a good look at myself and considerd the fact that I am still young and attractive and that there were plenty of men out there that would be thrilled at being with me. (Don't say as a wife....just leave it as is....lol).


Tell him that you can work out a schedule to see his children, but otherwise you had no desire to see him nor talk to him that had nothing to do with anything outside the children or business. Since you are legally divorced, perhaps those are already in effect. Anyway, if they aren't you could add that if anything else will be handled through your lawyer. You do have one, don't you? If not, sweetie, get one before you give him that letter and take him to the cleaners!

I want you to come here and let us build you up. Your self-esteem is beaten down. You need to know that you are much too valuable to be treated like he has done you. Take a lot of pride in yourself. Keep yourself dolled up. Dress to kill (especiall him....lol). Go get a new hair-do....go with a differnt color. Do something crazy......like get a pedicure. In other words, do something special for you. You deserve it. Be good to yourself. Go check out a bunch of self improvement books at the library and go to work on yourself. It is not to get him back, but to feel good about yourself and build that pride up. Read inspiration books.

I think I was cutting and pasting and meant to put this in somewhere............lol

In other words, I'm saying for you to let him know that you have decided that YOU DON'T WANT HIM!! Get it? In your letter, you are still kind of saying...."Oh poor little me.....I tried so hard, but you still don't want me." So, don't put yourself down one little bit. Put him in his place by letting him know that you are WANTING to move on WITHOUT him! Trust me, you will see shock waves like never before. B/c he is so used to having his way! He is used to you taking the blame for his unhappiness.