MJ, sounds to me like you are kind of afraid of him and I have to wonder then, do you like this or not? I would certainly hope you wouldn't put yourself in any sort of bad sitch w/ a man just b/c the S is good, but you're not sure about him as a MAN.
Here's the thing. I don't think that I should be afraid of him. He can't help it if he's really big and scary looking and he was raised in a really tough cultural environment. In a weird way it makes him a good man for me to be in a relationship with because his toughness/masculinity is so omnipresent I'm not inclined to push him any further in that direction. He usually is in relationships with really tough women so he views me as rather "miss-ish" so he encourages me to do boy-style push-ups and act sharp at the craps table and f*ck back like I mean it etc. but he also treats me like a pet bunny a lot of the time which I'm okay with to some extent but not if he thinks I'm an idiot bunny who can be tricked into staying in her cage at home on a Saturday night watching boring Lifetime movies while he goes out and does whatever he wants just because he is the man even if it is the case that I highly think that it is unlikely that he would be doing something like having sex with another woman and was probably just gambling with his "team" or something like that.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
