Walk Away Wife - My Sitch

[bhopeful]

So here is her response. I'm too emotionally drained to even think about it right now. Let me know your thoughts if you have any. I'll check back in later.


No, I know that I am a passionate person and that I enjoy helping people. That part of me I am alright with. I just never felt like you loved me even for my imperfections. I know I am not repulsive. I guess I just always felt like I was on pins and needles all these years... my chest would get tight worrying about pleasing you. I would worry about constantly being good enough. I hid myself around your family. I just want to be real... that is all. REAL. I want to yell at you when I feel like it, slam a door... be outrageous (because that is how I am)... If I do those things, I don't want you pouting and ignoring me for a day saying I'm mean too you... if that makes me mean, then I guess I'm a mean person.... I want to not have to worry about how I make the bed, where I put my shoes, or how things are put away around the house...

I am not a religious person. That is a fact. I always tried all these years. I put on a good front in an effort to make it work. It never did. I don't like going to church. I don't even think I believe in Jesus. I don't want to be a part of any of it. I felt pushed all this time. Not just by you but by your family and also by mine (my grandparents). I believe that I belong to the universe and it belongs too me... I am a part of it all and take it all in as a part of me. I am sickened by Christianity as a whole.

I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you but you need to know the truth. I've been thinking alot about that kind of stuff. And I recognized that as one thing that I have been dealing with all this time. I felt cornered but more importantly, I've felt anchored. Being anchored and cornered into something you didn't want to do really sucked.

I think you are a beautiful person and I know you love and care for me...