I don't know if I would go. (you do what you want and feel you should do) but I think the hostility will spill over. Does SMIL already know there is a problem between you two? If so I would call and thanks he for the invitation but with the situation as it is you don't want to make anybody uncomfortable. You ar the only one that knows how this could turn out but if mt W was as angery as you said yours was I would give the kids a hug and tell then We can do something togeather when you get back.
Husband
Husband, wife has announced to her family that she is going to seek a divorce from me. So everybody knows.
And you know... if we go anywhere together, the only person who would be uncomfortable would be her.
It now appears that she will be going to see her brother. Which is fine with me. If she goes there, I will stay home. If she goes to her father's, I will go with.
