Possible42, hang in there. I live in PA and I dont have to do anything about the D for 2 years.
My W orginally filed in August, but her L screwed up the paperwork and filed it in the wrong county, so we had it thrown out and she had to refile in our correct county and so now my "D" date is october 10. (My L said that she has the worst L in the area, and I believe that b/c who wouldnt have the paperwork filed properly and in the correct county?)
I can sit on it until 2009 and even then will have the upper hand when the court date comes, b/c my L says that the judges in my county are much more positive with the LBS and frown upon the adulterers.
My sitch is a little different in that my W wont leave, and I am still baffled by this. She wants out, she wants to be alone, she wants no relationship(when she said this I asked her what about the OM.) She says she has no place to go.
Does this mean she knows that if things with the OM dont work out, she will always have me here? No use racking my brain to try to figure things out, b/c nothing they say or do make sense.
I read the MLC for dummies at the top of the MLC thread, and my W does about 2/3 of what it says.
The only thing my W hasnt done is left the house, and gone out to buy a red corvette.
Am going to approach W this week about going to retrouvaille in January, a program by the catholic church that is like a marriage weekend, but it has presenter couples that have been through everything that you see on this board. I have talked to many people who have gone, and they have said that it transformed them. Not everyone makes it through, but I think the success rate is like 70 to80% that stay married.
I W wont go, I will have to threaten her with exposure. My S18, and D20 already know that mom is messed up, but I will ask her if she thought about how they will react when they find out their mom is having an A.
She is living a double life, and has been telling people that WE have been planing this for 2 years and decided to wait til the kids were in college. HUH? I have corrected many people so far, and sooner or later the s--t is gonna hit the fan for my W.
When people find out the real truth, she is going to find out the hard way that you cant continue to lie. All it does is make you lie more to cover up the previous lies.
Have to go now, let me know how you do.