Why can't I do this....

[houndfan]

Wow,

Well I need to digest both thoughts. I am so torn because she is so adamant that this is over between us. Today I went by to fix a couple of things that I missed over the weekend when I was sick and got in some trouble because I went out last night with some friends. Plus, she was mad that I was not able to get everything done today that I had committed to.

Dom, how would you suggest that I move forward, should I spend time evryday over there, if I am welcome doing what I can to demonstrate my change? Should I give her space as she is asking? She wants me to give her space, but I don't know how to do that if she is wanting me to be there to keep up my end of the bargan.

The important thing that I want to show is that I am working so hard on my own issues with trust and honesty and that I want to become a great man for my family, and myself.

I am so confused as to what to do here.

However, today is a great day for me, men's group went great and I am beginning to see that if this does not work out that I really am going to be ok. I am starting to set some personal goals for myself for the nexxt few months and that is something new.

Plus we are going to MC next week. Well, I think that it is MC and she wants it to be DC. Either way, I am hoping that having a 3rd party in the mix may help with some of the issues.

This sitch is so strange, she is trying so hard to be independent and is continuing to press that this is over, yet there are little things that she wants to hold me accountable for, it is a mess.

For example, going to watch the game last night was met with "I tried to call you, and waited up for you you never called me back." Then today I mentioned that I wanted to make sure that I got a tree for the boys and she was upset about that as well.

I am not sure how to speak without causing more damage here. If I agree, I am told that I am just doing so because I am in the dog house. If I speak my mind I am a POS. If I do what I want to do and work like crazy on new behavior it is because I am in the dog house. If I miss something or mess up on something then I am a POS.

Do you think that this MC could be a mistake? Could we be so far gone that there is no help with them? I asked if the MC was pro-marriage and she said that she was, I explained that I was DB'ing and she said that was a good start but like with everything else, I understand that I can not change her just me and my perception of the sitch. My hope is that through MC she will see how one-sided everything has become and that we may be able to have some different type of communication. But, I think that it may end up like the visit she went to with my IC where I was villified.

It seems through looking at other posts that MC is a slippery slope if not handled well. I am just trying to make enough progress that she will agree to Retro in January and am afraid that further setbacks could really be the death nail.

Sorry for the rant. Just wanted to offer some questions in hopes that you will have some advice. Also, for anyone reading this I am really amazed at the help that Men's Fraternity has been in my GAL process as well as some additional help to compliment my IC and DB'ing. Look into it if you are interested.