You seem to have taken a wise position that I don't remember recommending. I love learning new tricks and sharing new ideas. I like that.
You are keeping the attention where it needs to be ... H working on his issues in the right order. Sadly to some, the M comes last in MLC. He can't make good decisions about his life while he has so many other demons. Let him address his R with those people the MLCer usually cuts off and then reconnects with ... in order. You two would have trouble healing the M with so many other problems in the way. No rush. Patience.
Take care of yourself first, and expect him to do the same. Whatever he does, his life and his mistakes will be his to own. Your life will continue to be all you can make with it, no consideration to him.
