Feeling a little weird today. I am angry. Angry at H. Angry at myself for letting him get to me ...in that I called his family when I thought he may hurt himself. And just tired.
H came by around 9 last night to say goodnight to d12. He is pretty much ignoring me for the most part. I was in my room and he came in ...said he had just come from an appointment (well he had his hair dyed on sunday, maybe it was another tattoo.....couldn't be counseling that would make too much sense).
H asked about thanksgiving and i told him we would be there. He said goodnight and walked out to see d12 for a minute. H told her his parents were leaving for Florida next week and they wouldn't be here for christmas. She asked what we were going to do and he said he didn't know. She asked if we could have the family to our house and he said..."I don't think your brother wants me here." So now lets try to put a rift between the 2 of them. As if sibling rivalry isn't hard enough.
He walked out before I could say anything. I woke up early this morning and am at the point where I may just drop off the kids on thanksgiving and leave. I just don't know what to do. If he is going to be so childish as to not be speaking to me or putting s15 down...I don't know if I want to be with him.
I feel like I was so up on the rollercoaster I totally went off the track on the way down. I feel like my conversation with SIL (his brother's wife) and me worrying about him hurting himself and going to his family has sent him back to anger. Back to acting like a 2 year old. Back to skanky Married OW.
I feel like my h is totally manipulating me. Was he being nice for so many months because he wanted me to help him with s15 or was he starting to miss home like I thought? Not sure.
Right now the anger and hurt are both so real and painful. Part of me feels like my whole marriage has been a lie. How easy was it for him to up and leave.
Make no mistake, I am still standing. I just don't think that I am going to be paying much attention to H right now. He is off the deep end.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Mopsey
Still standing....but I feel like I am barefoot standing on glass
