Rambling on....here is the big thing I don't think most people understand. It would be easy to think that my problem is that I am attracted to "bad boys". However, I am not an idiot and that thought occurred to me way back when I was a teenager so when I have that thought I do what most people would consider sensible which is I purposefully choose to date a "nice boy" but then something really terrible happens which is that I turn the "nice boy" into a "bad boy".
What's a "bad boy"? what's a "nice boy"?
"nice boys" can like sex.
But maybe it's not just about sex. You've made vague references that maybe you're into more than just "sex". ie; BDSM. That sort of thing shapes behaviour, and how you treat another person, and how they treat you.
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So really I am better off just choosing to date "bad boys".
i dont think this logically follows.
I'm going to go out on a limb here... sorry if I'm way off base... but if you get into B&D, and you keep pushing your man to "top" you... yeah, that will change your relationship out of the bedroom too.
So then you are faced with a choice: which do I want for me long term: That kind of thing in the bedroom regularly, or a "nice" relationship?
It's about choosing who you want to be. You're probably going to be happiest if you pick ONE style of relationship dynamic, both in and out of the bedroom.
IF you dont want to be dominated out of the bedroom... its probably not a good idea to play around regularly with being dominated IN the bedroom. Seems to be unhealthy and counterproductive to what you imply you want.
It sounds like you want to claim that it is out of your control, and you cant "stop" your behaviour in the bedroom. IF that's true... that would mean you have a type of sex addiction, wouldn't it?
