There's a part of me that wants to release all the pent up emotions, the hurt, the pain of losing my dad, the pain of losing my ex-wife, the pain that I've caused Miss IC, and now the pain of cancer....but at the same time, there is a part of me that won't allow it. It won't allow the vulnerabilty that comes with releasing these emotion to come through. It's like I'm stuck in limbo between this struggle and I don't know what to do.
You are journaling, IC. You recognize it. You are at least informing people, even if you are not indulging all that pent up stuff right now. That's okay. It isn't time yet.
When a person is working toward a goal... they hurt, they get frustrated, they get discouraged. They may even indulge those feelings a time or two. But the person who achieves the goal does not take his eyes from the prize, kwis? They get up, every day, in spite of it all, and do it again. And again.
When you reach the goal, you look back, and you might say, 'fck that was hard' (with a big ole grin on your face). But all the hurt and frustration and discouragement doesn't seem to be the giant ugly monsters they once were. kwis?
Keep your eye focused on the goal. That's all you need to know.
