oh, when I mean he needs to move out, I don't suggest you push him out. Let him do it. Not sure how. May be let him know that if he wants a D, first step is probably to move out. And arrange visitation of kid. Let him set the pace.
(I bet OW will do the pushing for him to move out, which will be positive from your side) Take care
OC - I agree he needs to move out since he wants the D. He said he would and actually set up someplace to live yesterday. Funny -it's with the Aunt who loves me.
I am so tired this morning. I think I slept maybe 2 hours last night. H has moved back into the guest room and I stayed up all night "thinking". Ummm.. that was after I got hysterical. I can't say I've ever lost it like that before. I think I may be going crazy
First off this is the first step onto the new roller coaster ride - try not to get on. Let H move out ASAP and set it up like a true separation - like prepping him for D. Do not file (unless you are ready) or agree to file - let him make the decision. Somehow with your H's history I do not think these decision will come to quickly. Let him have his so desired freedom and find out the OW is not as perfect as he believes. The LaLa land fantasy is about to be busted wide open and his perspective could change.
Take care of you and stop worrying about him. He's out of your sphere of control and you can only really worry about you. My H told me 6 times or so he TRULY wanted a D and we are still trying to piece us back together...you have put up with so much more BS - you are way stronger than you think!!
Now it's Olive's time!! I pity your H - he is one confused sad little puppy...
((((((LO)))))))
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Well, as you all predicted, H is no 100% sure about the D. He is finally going to see an ic again to help him sort some stuff out. In his words, "I dont' want to make the biggest mistake of my life". So, what do I do now? He is sleeping in the guest room at least and still wants to take care of some financial stuff in case we D. What do I do??
LovelyO, I think what you've been doing has been spot on. You've given him your boundaries and given him the responsibility of the decision. His is still on the fence. Keep doing what you've been doing and hopefully he'll end up falling back to your side. The IC is a good sign. Is this somebody new or has he gone before?
Thinking of your question, 'what do I do?' You certainly can't live this way forever. You know that. He knows that. I would be tempted to help (or push) him along. Perhaps he should move out! Let him have a taste of what separation would be like. I say that but at the same time realize it's hard. But something's gotta give...
I would be tempted to help (or push) him along. Perhaps he should move out! Let him have a taste of what separation would be like. I say that but at the same time realize it's hard. But something's gotta give...
I agree with Joie. He's done this before....too many times if I remember. I believe he is just buying time...he doesn't want a D but he doesn't want to or is not strong enough to let go of OW. I think he'll go on like this for months if you let him. Based on my own experience, the IC might just be another way for him to buy time....at least that's what my XH did.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
