This may all be moot, as step-MIL told me she was going to call wife yesterday. So what I think happened is that SMIL invited all of us (explicitly). Wife probably responded that we will be there. But I don't know because I have not asked. But I would be surprised if she declined the invite.
So... I will not tell SMIL in advance. Either tonight or tomorrow, I will tell wife that I spoke to SMIL (however, wife may see this as manipulative), and SMIL mentioned TG. Then wait for a response. She will say either:
- "So...?" Then my response will be to say that I am planning to take the kids, and she is welcome to join us.
- "I was planning to go with the kids." My response will be to state that I, too, was invited, and I was planning to go.
- "I am taking the kids, and I prefer that you not go with us." Very unlikely response. In the event she says this, I will state that I, too, was invited and I was planning to attend. Then wait to see if she holds firm on going without me. If she sticks to her guns (again, not likely), then I will let her go. I don't have much of a choice. I need to let her go.
