Just wanted to add in my experience with letting my H know I didn't want the D after seeming calm about it. I did write him a letter so he was very clear it was not what I wanted, but also that I wouldn't stand in his way. Like UD says, you have nothing to lose at this point. Was it so it would just be "on record"? Maybe. But I felt better afterwards - like I could sit back and he would be responsible for doing all the work if it's what he wanted. I put it all out there, as if it were one last attempt on my part. And now, besides giving him more time, I am certain that I have done all that I can and am certain that he knows my position.
At the same time, I have often wondered since then if I've taken away that feeling of the MLC/WAS experiencing the loss of our M/family by telling him I'm still here for him and it isn't too late, despite all that he's done. But, as you said, does it really matter with MLCers? They are on their own timeline and feel a need to do things their own way anyways.
For me, I stopped thinking about it as a game and decided to go with my gut and deal with it in a way I could look back and be proud of myself. Whatever your decision about telling him or not, make this about yourself and doing the right thing and you won't go wrong.
