It's pretty easy to get stuck in resentment, especially in a situation like this. Not that the resentment produces any positive effects, mind you.
He can't leave her without leaving his kids. She can leave him anytime she feels like it and take the kids with her, and isn't likely to feel much remorse about taking their dad away from them or vice versa, since she'll tend to consider it self-evident that his kids need her a lot more than they need him and she'll have an easy time finding people who agree with her on that and back her up, including (most likely) the judge. So there's no really good direct approach here, and if you're lacking in confidence, you won't expect any approach to pay off and you'll see any possible indirect approach as a big waste of time and energy.
When you get into a better mindset, you'll start seeing that it's better to do something positive, even if it doesn't seem to lead directly to your goal. In fact, I'm kind of concerned that the big weight loss, in and of itself, didn't supply you with any real confidence at all. I'm not sure how you managed to do it in the first place given the mindset you seem to be in, unless you fell (back) into it recently. This is what individual counseling is all about. It's not a direct path to anywhere, but it upgrades you so that your efforts toward any and all goals are more effective overall and the odds throughout your life get tilted in your favor.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
