I chant in my head that my H owed his loyalty to me, that OW owes me nothing. Now, the loyalty she owes to her H and kids....that's another thing, something she has to answer to.
Lwb, the OP may not owe you anything personally, but she does owe you and all of us the responsibility to honor her own marriage that she asked everyone to respect when she took her vows -- and by the same token she owes God and all of us to respect the vows taken by someone else.
Marriage is a contract and a covenant between a husband and wife, and with God and all of humanity.
