Bathrooms at parties are fun places for quickies, but it works better if there are at least 15 - 20 plus people at the party :-)
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
If your going to Florida you probably ought to consider some pool action too. I'm glad you liked my suggestion. You were making me sad with your description of your sex life too. I was picturing you and your H sitting on a plastic coated sofa wearing matching cardigans making pleasant conversation for the next 40 years. Okay, it was making me more scratchy than sad but you know what I mean.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
You have already PROVEN to yourself that you have an incredible amount of power over your own life... and you have the determination and ability to sustain it over the long haul to meet a goal you have set for yourself. K?
So let me ask you two questions:
1) What are you getting out of mentally abusing yourself, ie., putting yourself down? What does that do for you?
2) What are you getting out of being so angry and bitter?
Seriously consider both questions, please, and answer honestly. Do you WANT to be an angry, bitter man? Do you like how that makes you feel?
What kind of person do you WANT to be? How do you WANT to feel about yourself?
Also, along the lines of Corri's questions, my first thought of is: if you guys have boys (or girls -- either way), what are you teaching them as far as what marriage is supposed to be like? If you are inwardly so angry, are you angry outwardly constantly?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
You're probably right that not all women are like my wife, but it doesn't do me any good. It's like being in the middle of a famine and knowing that there's the world's supply of cheeseburger's out there, somewhere, that you can't get to.
No, I don't think my wife freezing up has much to do with my weight loss. I was horny, frustrated and fat when we got married. She turned frigid within months of our first date, whereas I've only lost the weight in the last few months, 7 years since getting married.
As for work? I do computer stuff in an office for a railroad. Vague enough?
It's pretty easy to get stuck in resentment, especially in a situation like this. Not that the resentment produces any positive effects, mind you.
He can't leave her without leaving his kids. She can leave him anytime she feels like it and take the kids with her, and isn't likely to feel much remorse about taking their dad away from them or vice versa, since she'll tend to consider it self-evident that his kids need her a lot more than they need him and she'll have an easy time finding people who agree with her on that and back her up, including (most likely) the judge. So there's no really good direct approach here, and if you're lacking in confidence, you won't expect any approach to pay off and you'll see any possible indirect approach as a big waste of time and energy.
When you get into a better mindset, you'll start seeing that it's better to do something positive, even if it doesn't seem to lead directly to your goal. In fact, I'm kind of concerned that the big weight loss, in and of itself, didn't supply you with any real confidence at all. I'm not sure how you managed to do it in the first place given the mindset you seem to be in, unless you fell (back) into it recently. This is what individual counseling is all about. It's not a direct path to anywhere, but it upgrades you so that your efforts toward any and all goals are more effective overall and the odds throughout your life get tilted in your favor.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
