Thanks, yeah my sister said it has totally freaked her out. She thought we were the perfect couple and he was the one guy who would never do this. I've never even had a seconds concern 'til now. Does he want to work it out?? Hmmm, when I look at all the BS I think of course not or we wouldn't be here. But, I get that this is not my H, this is cheater guy and they are not the same person!! In his own way I think he does. He's always had a problem accepting limits. If he wants something he bulldozes 'til he gets it. Makes for success in the workplace, not a great thing at home. But he's never been demanding at home, always reserved it for work. He has said "I'm my own worst enemy. I know this would never work, I know it's a bad thing. I know I cannot have it, but in some way I just keep hoping I can keep some of it." I've always said that he pushes everything to the nth degree. He is somewhat PA so he does not respond well to demands. I do see things that make me think he's trying. She isn't allowed to call or text during home time and he used to come up with any asinine excuse he can find to go to the store so he can be sure and call her on weekends. For the past couple weeks he either doesn't go, leaves his phone or gives me the phone and asks me to make note of the call timer so he can be accountable. Early on,at one point he actually pushed me out of my bedroom and CALLED HW from my bed. Those were bad times! I realize he does much better when I'm laid back about it, but that's easier said than done for me. (He always said that was one of the things that attracted him to me, I've always been pretty spunky. I've never let him get away with crap) but I try. He did agree to counseling at one point, then later said he didn't want to go because I was so incredibly smart he knew I could talk circles around a MC and it wouldn't be fair. Then he told me I had wasted my life because I was far smarter than most counselors and even knew more than them. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha I'm STILL laughing about that one. I told him if I was that smart I wouldn't be putting up with his crap. I told him last week that if he was crazy in love with the HW there wouldn't be anything that could keep him away and if he really detested me- no way he'd stay in the house. He has moments of sanity where he'll seem normal. My friend said he confused her. One day she wants to take up for him and thought he was really trying, the next she thinks he has no interest in changing and is just screwing me over. He flip flops between ILY, ILYBINILWY and I don't LY at all. He has said that just about the time he starts to feel "warm and fuzzy" I bring up the A and screw it all up. He doesn't want to leave at all. He came home tonight and talked like old times. He always talks about future plans, moving, retirement that kind of stuff. Tonight he was telling me about his plans for the next conf in January. I couldn't help but think "Ughh yeah, do ya think you're still gonna be here then?" Apparently, tonight he's in the "be faithful" mood?
