I don't know if I should continue to DB.

[forward]

I find myself feeling sad again but at the same time, I am so tired of making an effort that I am growing indifferent. Plus I am preoccupied with my purchasing fun, so that part is good!

I guess I did get some results because H did eat w/us twice this week. I just opted not to ask him if he wanted any. He had to hint. It is almost as if he is beginning to see that I am not looking to please him, which may be a 180 for me.

While I can continue to be friendly-ish, I am not feeling overeager and it shows. This may

I went to see H's work but I didn't tell him that I did. I am not going to bring it up unless he asks.

H hesitated leaving today (he just drops off D2 on these days) but it's not like he lingers with me.

I think H is taking OW back to his parent's house at Christmas. That made me sad, too--the sense of being replaced is definitive.

I don't think all is well w/OW but every now and then I get a sense of what he does with her and it is always things that I would have been THRILLED if he could have bothered to do them with me.

Maybe "not trying" is working and better for me.

I feel alternately attracted and not to Crushee.