Why can't I do this....

[Dom R]

you're right. that was a major setback.

The major setback, was that you bailed on your marriage and your wife, by "going back where I have been staying."
You ran away from your responsibility.

I think that your wife wants you to treat her better.
Running away, isnt treating her better, is it?


So rather than deal with the nagging,

I think you mean, "so rather than facing up to her anger that you let her down"...



Well my phone was ringing so much I finally took her call. She was screaming at me that I had not done 2 things that she had asked me to do the day before I got sick. [...] The same controlling crap that we have fought for years.

I think you mean, "the same disappointment she has faced for years, in you letting her down".


What wasn't working? I should have just left or not come over all al UGH!

what wasnt working, was that you shouldnt have left in the first place.
Since you made that mistake, you should be a man, and face up to her anger in being let down by you.

if you actually want to heal your marriage... you should be glad for her anger.
It's worse, when she just doesnt care any more, because she has given up on you.


well had I taken care of the line in teh yard or given the dog away like I was suppose to this would never had happened and now she can not run her business.

What the dog did, may or may not have been related to the internet working.
But it does sound like the dog is another example of how you failed to do "something you were supposed to do".

She may have made a technical mistake on why her computer isnt working. But sounds like she has a right to be angry at you for letting her down again.


I offered the computer at the place that I am staying and she turned me down flat.

You tried to be helpful, but it was in a way, an insult. She wants you to fix YOUR HOME. Not give up on it. She probably saw your offer as giving up on fixing your home.

yeah, I know, what you did was "practical". but it's not comforting to her, if she actually cares about you fixing up your home for her. sounds like she still cares.

you have hope. she still cares, even though she's really angry.

Your biggest obstacle sounds like you, not her.
You gotta get out of "run away" mode, and start a whole new life,of, "stick it out, admit when you screw up, and try to make it right when you do".

That sounds like the best "180" that you could do in your marriage, to me.