Need Help/ Suggestions - Part 2

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I feel for you, man, sounds like she is turning out not to be the person you thought she was, I know exactly how that feels. The hardest part is not what she is doing to you, but what she is doing to your child.

Do whatever you have to take care of your son. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care.

[NoDirection]

Thanks for the prayers. She decided to spend the weekend at her friends house with our S. So our son was around a bunch of drunks on Saturday night and slept on a couch on Sunday. That is a great life for a 2 year old.

I have gotten to a point that not only do I not want to be with her. I do not want my son to be with her. I know I can not stop that and he needs to be with his mother, but the lack of stability from her end of the relationship is only going to hurt him in the long run.

I am at a point now where I am gathering money for the retainer of the attorney I met with. I have had enough.

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I understand fully, as you know my W mothering skills are terrible, she has done a lot of damage to my kids, and short of a miracle will ever save their relationship.

If you feel that your W is doing that kind of damage to your son, then you are right, it is time to act, take full custody of your son, it sounds like she doesn't even want to be a mom, at this point, but if she ever comes around, don't deny her that privilege. I've told my kids, that if need be, I will fight for full custody of them, as well, but I would never deny my W her right to spend time with them, even though she has tried to do that to me. D sucks! but you have to do the right thing! Take care.

[NoDirection]

I never want to seperate my S from my W. She really does not seem to want to be a mother right now. One of my friends put it well, she is acting like a girl who had a kid in high school and brings it to all the parties. She is not providing any type of stability to him right now whatsoever.

I am in the process of gathering the money for the attorney and then I am moving forward...

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, You are doing the right thing. Take care.

[NoDirection]

I believe that I am, no matter how much it hurts. She has walked away with little or no remorse. She wants to live this single life and then come home to play house, that does not work.

I have tried everything DB has to offer with little to no positive results. I even think we are further away from each other since I started this whole thing. All I wanted to say was that I tried everything I coudl to keep this together but it seems as if it is not in God's will...

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I know just how you feel, my W had the baby on Thanksgiving, and the only way I found out about it was through the kids, the question of whether the baby is mine or not is still not answered. Until it is, I know I can't move forward in any way.

In a lot of ways I feel the same as you, about DB'ing, Although it has helped me, it has driving me and W further apart. I know that I must look out for me and my kids, and I think you already know that you should do the same. I am still leaving my sitch in God's hands, and trying follow His will, that's all I can do, and it sounds like you are there too.

Not knowing His will, is the hardest part of all of this, we think we know, but we just don't. Just got to have faith that it will be clear to us, someday. Take care.

[NoDirection]

How true that last statement is. I know D will be tough for everyone involved but I look at my sitch and see how this is not any easier.

My W and I can not discuss anything serious. I ask her to respect the marriage and do some things that I ask but she blows me off. She will go out with our S and drag him to the things that she wants to do and she considers that quality time with him. She associates with a group of single people who spend their free time drinking. She says they are good people but how well do you know someone after 2 months. If they are the "good people" she says they are would nt they encourage her to work on her mariage instead of pulling her away?

The more I work on things and learn from DB'ing it shows me that maybe this is not meant to be for all of us to be happy. I hate the fact that my S will have his parents in seperate homes but at least I can provide the stability he wants and needs while she figures herself out.

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, You keep up the great work, I will keep you in my prayers. Take care.

[NoDirection]

Thanks, It is really getting surreal with her. Saturday at her cousin's son third birthday party she informs me that she is taking our son out with her to go see a friend. Of course she has still yet to set foot inside the house. Her excuse this time was that I did not make contact with her while she was out so that shows that I do not want her there and she does not want to be there.

I am sick and tired of trying to rationalize all of this. I am calling today to get the money I need and moving forward. I can not live like this anymore...

Rain, thanks for the support in all of this. I will pray that God's will be done in your stich as well.