an xh, his FF, Thanksgiving, MIL, and one psuedo-R

[Dom R]

So.. porn still doesnt bother you, strip clubs still dont bother you, him "hanging on other women" doesnt bother you..?

you said you had done a lot of research about how affairs start, etc.

SO.. you KNOW, mentally, that this is detrimental to your relationship. Yet it still "doesnt bother you"....
odd...


If it "bothered you, but you could be happy", i might have guessed that you just set low standards.


Maybe you got imprinted this way, from early childhood, by some of your most influential relationships around you. parents? aunt/uncle?

Or... you're detached, and you dont actually care to be fully committed both ways... you just want what you want, but you dont care if he wanders off with someone else eventually, 'cause you'll find someone else?

There's a few different high-level possibilities i could think of:

a- you're not really "afraid of losing him". if you lose him, oh well.

b- you dont think you ever will "lose him". (ie: overconfidence)

c- you want to do some of that stuff yourself now, so dont want to hold him to a higher standard than you want to be held to...

d- ... ??


PS: I think there's different types of jealousy.
There's, "He's MINE MINE MINE hands off!"

and there's more of a "worried" jealousy, of "i know where this kind of stuff leads, and I want to protect our relationship."