I couldn't disagree more. First, decide who you are. Then be that and you'll find the sort of man that appeals to.
Mostly I agree with you. However, we are faced with the sexual omnivore's dilemma (if I steal a line from Michael Pollan's book and make analogous use of it) - When you can eat anything/everything how do you decide what to eat? If I follow your suggestion I am viewing myself as the food. I work my way through the remnants of my marital fusion and resolve my midlife identity crisis and cheerfully decide that I am a "peach" (that is what I am according to OkayCupid testing which means that I'm just a tad too romantic to be the "playstation"- lol) and go about my daily life emitting peach-like vibes of being sweet, ripe and just mushy enough or something like that. Am I to assume that any guy who likes peaches is the right guy for me?
If, OTOH, I view myself as the eater rather than the eaten, active rather than passive, I have to think more like a hunter and contemplate things like "I wonder how I could get that nice pitcher of cream to come over here and pour himself all over my peachy self?" in which case, it's not that I'm trying to be something other than a peach but just the most appealing peach possible, perhaps attractively merchandised with a little sign that says "Peaches and Cream- A delectable combination that should be enjoyed on a regular basis. Yum!"
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
