I hate to tell you this... you aren't a liar. Sorry. You don't like feelings that are uncomfortable. That makes you about a 'normal' as anyone could be.
Learning how to constructively 'self-comfort' through the uncomfortable feelings is what a lot of people never learn how to do. Men typically just 'stuff.'
Getting something like cancer is tough for anyone, but I think, most especially men. They've got something 'attacking' them and they are at the mercy of others to 'fight.' It leaves one feeling helpless, scared, and completely out of control over their own destiny.
Well, IC, that just... sucks. I mean... don't you think? You'd like to get angry, smash somethng, someone... and there isn't anyone or anything to get angry AT.
You saying that your wife and kids are the only things keeping you fighting... that if it weren't for them, you'd just let things run their course?
Buddy, that is stinkin' thinkin and just stop it right now. Your attitude, your determination are the two things you need to self-comfort when you get scared, and they are the two things you need to 'fight back.' It's mental warfare.
Just like hockey. And YOU my friend, are a hockey player.
Stop all this non-sense. NOW. It is incredibly okay to feel scared, to not want to fight, to hurt inside. So pull out your gratitude stones and start saying 'thank you.'
And once you get this cancer beat, we'll hire you a good shrink so you can talk to him/her about this 'avoidance behavior' problem you seem to think you have.
