Well, THAT is exactly why I post ALLLL this stuff, because I desperately want an opinion based on not HIS side, not just MY side, but really, TELL ME what I'm doing wrong. Here's what I am having a really hard time with. I feel like we can't have a comfortable ordinary life, we have to be having extraordinary sex ALL the time, not some of the time, ALL of the time or it simply is not good enough. That is so counterproductive and makes me feel so inadequate and NOTHING squelches my desire like feeling that I'm really NOT sexy enough.
RHW: I truly appreciate your comments and thanks for being honest. If that's what you see, I'm glad you said so.
I hung a sign in our bedroom (I mentioned this once before) about "the best gift we can give our children is two parents who show love and commitment, patience with each other." Something along those lines. I believe 150% that if I make my marriage important, the children benefit. I told Joey just last night that I am willing to consider divorce if it seems there is truly too much damage between us, but I refuse to do it without trying as hard as we possibly can to save what we have, including a weekend at a "save your marriage" seminar. He just sold some artwork and we have more money than usual. I told him the kids would much rather have happy parents than a pile of plastic toys, he just kind of nodded.
I've made a positive email to him and he returned with one.
I will work on reducing ANY and ALL conflict, as I did before. I can tell we are at the starting gate at another round of at least TRYING, so I want to take advantage of that. I just don't want to feel like sex - of a certain level no less - is a duty and expectation.
Thanks, guys, I have to wake up son from his nap and get my daughter at preschool. I will try and read some of SSM this afternoon.
