I find it strange for me that as time has gone on that this board has gone from being one of my life lines to now me just lurking... I don't know if that is a sign of me stepping off the roller coaster and accepting that I am going to be a divorced dad of two beautiful girls. Or a sign of me growing as a person through this painful time. Or something entirely different??
Since the last time I posted a lot has happened and a lot has not happened. It is still clear that my W wants out and is pushing for our M to be over. In her words "I am pathetic and so was our M". Yeah, she said that to me last Wednesday. I for the most part have been able to avoid conflict, mainly by avoiding her. But she still finds way to push buttons. For example, last week while at work she went into how bad I am treating her during this D and that I will get what I have coming to me. There was a lot more said but you can see where she is at....still mad, and I am still to blame for this. I still do not understand how I am treating her badly, I guess not rolling over and playing dead is me being difficult. All of the verbal assaults still hurt. When she starts to dig in with the emotional knife it still hurts like hell....but I have found that I bounce back quicker then I once did. I no longer go into a deep depression that I cannot shake. The crazy thing through all of this I am still trying to leave the door open for her to comeback. But like my mom told me the other night that it is sad that my W is no longer the person that I fell in love with. I still see bits and pieces of her...but she is right.... My W would have fought like hell for our family...this woman impersonating my W does not have it in her.....
We are scheduled for our first court date on the 29th. Then in the first week of December my W, L's and I are scheduled to have a settlement meeting. Hopefully we can come to some agreement, because if not it will cost me not only from a legal sense, but from all the other extra bills that I am taking care of right now.
My job is going well. Though we did just go through a round of RIF's. It actually is the third time this year that they let people go. I guess with all the trouble banks are having this year it is to be expected. As of now I am not worried about my job, which is good. But it is something that you have in the back of your mind as you see colleagues being let go.
My girls are doing pretty good. I think not having the family unit that they once had is hard on them but they are adjusting. I have them for Thanksgiving and this coming weekend. I think they need a weekend at home, so I am planning on getting the Christmas decorations out and the three of us decorating.
The last weekend that I had my girls we drove down to Nashville for my cousins wedding. We had fun and just enjoyed being around family. No other trips planned at this point....but I was thinking of getting away with my girls for a few days over the week of new years.
I guess that is the long story...her is the shorter version if you don't want to read through all of it. The short story is that we all are still under the same roof and the D is still going through. My W has now bought her new place and is ready to move out....but....the signed court papers at this time say otherwise...
I guess that is it for now. I hope everyone is doing well.
